Ace's Monologue
by sammycircle
Summary: Ace somehow gets hold of a computer and writes his own monologue. Feel free to bombard him with questions of your fantasy - he'll do his best to answer in all politeness.
1. Introduction

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue. **

It's nice to meet you. Yes, Makino taught me the basics to politeness or I'd probably throw you out of this room engulfed in fiery flames burning you to crisp, yelling "BASTARD" or something along that line.

What else…? I'm the 2nd division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates – yes I'm _pretty strong_ don't tell me you thought those biceps were for showing off…

…Hmm? Sorry, I fell asleep again, my bad habit I apologise. If this is my monologue, it means I can say whatever I want, right?

Let's start with my little brother Luffy, well, to start off he's an idiot. A huge one with the common sense the size of a pea. Or a microscopic pea, whatever you say.

I'm a pirate, a damn infamous one to be proud of, currently Luffy's saying something along the lines of being Pirate King but even if he _is _my little brother that title is probably going to pops. Not a popsicle, mind you, I was talking about Whitebeard. Edward Newgate? Rings a bell? He's my father. And don't start with your reasons on how we don't look alike, just because I'm his son doesn't mean I have to grow a moustache. Moustaches don't fit manly people like me. Moustaches are for like… well people who have no time to shave apparently.

Don't tell pops I told ya that.

I'll burn you.

Getting rather bored and stuffy here, is this how you use a… (what's that?) collator?

_COMPUTER YOU IDIOT!_

Ah sorry, compater? Marco travelled through a time warp, don't ask me how I'm not one to dwell onto details, they bore me to sleep… not that my narcolepsy already helps me in the process. So yes, he found this _fascinating _website called _fanfiction_ like what the hell, what is _one piece _doing here? Are we part of some fictional story piece now huh? That just sucks. It makes me feel like an unreal person when I'm supposedly the person everyone's after.

I mean the marines. All because I'm a son of a devil, ain't the world screwed up?

Evidently, the time-warp thing world Marco travelled to obviously has issues. No, not war, it's not that simple. I scrolled (is that how you use the word?) through this fanfiction page and I see an uncanny number of stories that have me and Luffy. It's called AceLu by the way, totally unoriginal, and extremely disturbing. We are _brothers_, not partners, not lovers, although I doubt Luffy has the intelligence to figure out what making love means, he'll probably end up thinking love equates to meat.

So that idiot will think, "ARE WE MAKING MEAT ACE?"

And I'll be wise enough not to tell him. I hope he doesn't even mention it, I don't want to think.

Marco says I should start an "Ask Ace" thing, so... Feel free to ask me... anything? God, that just sounds wrong.

* * *

**I had no idea I was going to do this, honestly it just popped out from nowhere! It's kinda fun to do this though, what do you guys think?**

** ask Ace stuff I'm sure he'll answer the best he can *bows* **


	2. Q&A 1

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue.**

* * *

**#1Tayani**

***thumbs up for sammycircle***  
**Ace! Hello! My name's Tayani, nice to meet you:) Will you marry me?**  
**And, for being serious, and starting a probably endlessly long string of questions, I wanted to ask: why you seem to care so much about Luffy, yet after three years of parting you just gave him a (*&%$# piece of paper and took off? T'was quite a shame...**  
**Oh, and, what's your favorite colour? Why you live half-naked? Do you have a girlfriend? ;) ...boyfriend? Marco?**  
**Answer soon, and bye!**

* * *

_Marco peeks over Ace's should__er, chortling with laughter._

"_Did you get marriage proposals yet?"_

"_Welll… yeah…why?" Ace answered honestly, staring at his friend suspiciously. _

"_Nothing, nothing." Marco waved off his question, leaving the room._

_Chuckling in delight, the blue-phoenix smirked. "I am so going to tell everyone." _

Well, I've got a few questions here and there… an understatement these questions seem to have underlying questions everywhere… as promised, because _I _don't break promises let me see to yours.

Tayani? That's a rather unique name, I can't say Ace is an exceptionally common name either though. Hello there! Was that a proposal?

… Do I happen to know you somewhere? I have no idea what makes you attracted to me (I suspect it's the biceps or my six-pack they seem to attract a great deal of attention from ladies… and some men I don't want to mention) but you'd be safer marrying a… less wanted man. Furthermore, you're probably not from my world, am I right? Unless you're a pirate… HO OR ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE GIRLS ON POPS SHIP THAT MARCO SENT YOU TO WRITE THIS?

Oops, that got a little overboard. Hey, I'm temperamental, reckless, and narcoleptic… I'm not an ideal man, and _if _we get married Marines will chase after you as well… That is if they can somehow find that damn time portal Marco was boasting about.

In conclusion, I reject your proposal, apologies. _But _that does not mean I'm gay. This fanfiction thing keeps insisting if I'm not in a relationship it automatically puts me with Marco, which I shiver at the thought, and _Smoker. _The hell? He tried killing me and you put me in a relationship with him? Geez you people have a lot of imagination. Perverts everywhere.

Why didn't I follow Luffy? Technically, I was searching for someone names Marshall D. Teach, but you know the whole story don't you? Marco told me you knew my future as well… Freaky. And you all keep going on about saving me from death, since when was I dead? Are ya'll trying to curse me?! Meanies.

Luffy is my little brother, he's the reason why I _live_. Seeing him finally grow up is an accomplishment for both myself as an older brother who has to needlessly take care of him whenever he gets into deep trouble (which happens way too often, sadly). He has nakama who'll take care of him, and I have my own crew, it's only natural for us not to follow the same route is it not? And my dear, that's a vivre card… much like your PPS…

_GPS YOU IDIOT!_

Ah whatever, I'm still not accustomed to your technology I'd rather not dwell too much on it.

Favourite colour… hmm finally an easy question! Orange, obviously, for obvious reasons.

Half-naked? You don't have to put it that way… makes it sound like I'm a stripper. It's not my fault that I accidentally burn a lot of my clothes! My budget's limited (yes I know, I'm supposed to be a damn rich powerful pirate) to food and partying. So, clothes aren't exactly my biggest priority. Although I must say it is more convenient as it's impossible to feel cold if you're made of fire. Literally. You wouldn't understand…

Oh of course you do, I forgot, you guys know _everything_.

Let's go to the last question… Oh man do I have to answer this?

_Peeking over his shoulder, Marco was sniggering. "YES YOU DO!" He yelled at Ace's ear._

Just to make this clear – I do not have a girlfriend. Unless I've decided to not become a pirate anymore (which would be a very long time later you can be sure) would I consider any relationships… But unlike Luffy I'm _not _asexual. I do take notice… of… pretty girls… sometimes… Since it has come to this, here's a list for you all.

I don't like quiet girls. It means they don't like partying. And _I _happen to like partying. A lot.

I like people who can take care of themselves. (Luffy's an exception)

To be continued.

Lastly… MARCO IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! No matter how you look at it, we are _not _together. That is gross and very wrong.

Thank you for your time.

"_Aww I thought you liked me." The cheeky blonde was looking over his shoulder again._

"_SHUT UP!"_

* * *

**#2RedSnow4**

**So cool! Love the idea of "Ask Ace" :D**  
**I love One Piece so much! I half to ask Ace a question. "What do you think of the StrawHats? Luffy, over an amount of time has gathered up his crew, what do you think about them? hmmm?! I'd like to know if you don't mind :D"**

* * *

I'm glad you like the idea, I'll happily accept the compliment.

"_Hey that was my idea!" Ace pointedly ignored him._

You love One Piece? Even I have no idea what one piece is, how do you know? Are you the past pirate queen? Did Whitebeard tell you, god pops is so unpredictable sometimes… perhaps he was drunk?

The straw hats are suited for Luffy, surprisingly. Luffy has a gift you know, something about him that makes people want to be friends with him and tolerate his unbelievable amount of stupidity. I'm one of them, I have to admit. Seeing the fanfiction around here, I'm most commonly paired with Zoro or Sanji, I pray that they don't know _anything _about this. They have a fierce loyalty to Luffy as far as I can see, although they beat him up pretty often ( I don't care, I do that as well), he's very important to them. It's almost like if he weren't there, they wouldn't be either.

Thank you for your time.

* * *

**#3lucidum somnia sub sidera**

**Alohaaa. What's up? I'm lucidum somnia sub sidera. But that's such a mouthful... call me Somnia. _" I guess it unconsciously fits Ace-san, too - Somnia is Latin for sleep...**

**Oh, forgive me, I'm getting sidetracked. Well, since there's no point in small talk, I'll just get right to it. Luffy's your brother, so obviously you'll be very protective of him. I understand this is rather fangirlish of me, but I'd like to know what you think about Luffy's potential wife (or husband).**  
**There's Nami, there's Hancock, Princess Vivi, Nico Robin, Margaret. And Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Shanks... so many ships. Personally I'd like to know a family member's input - Luffy can't stay asexual for the whole of his life, now, can he?**

**OOC: Author-san, I salute you for this idea. No, seriously. This is AWESOME!**

* * *

Wow, that's quite a name. Hi Somnia. Latin? What's Latin… A type of food? Sleep huh, so you know about my habits as well? Hmm interesting.

I have fangirls now? That's pretty funny!

Potential wife… Are you quite certain we're talking about the same Luffy here? The biggest idiot in the world? Very well… Luffy better not see this. I doubt he knows how to use a computer anyway, he might think it's potential lunch.

Shanks? Really? Oh my god…

Alright, I have recovered from the initial shock. To put it this way, realistically, I'd think Nami is the girl for him. It shows… that since Nami is Luffy's first female crew member and the fact that he hands her his straw hat (I know my little brother loves it. A whole lot.) sums it up. But of course being Luffy… The thought of him being in love is like him disliking meat. Asexual is a good term to describe Luffy's current sexual orientation. He loves his nakama, but nothing more.

There's a rumour where Hancock has a massive crush on him. I don't know what he did (pretty sure seducing is out of question) but once again I'll point out Luffy has a certain charm to him that makes people instantly like him.

Vivi: Nope, she's a princess. He's a pirate. She'll probably marry royalty… or that best friend of hers.

Hancock: Possible, but Luffy rejected her proposal… you don't reject someone then tell them you made a mistake.

Robin: She's like his mother!

"_Who's Margaret?" _

"_Someone from the Amazon Lily…" Marco told him patiently._

Margaret: I doubt people from the Amazon Lily know what falling in love means… except Boa Hancock.

By the way, what are ships? Like the Moby Dick…?

Zoro/Sanji/Usopp: Out. Of. Question. But I do think if Luffy had a decent amount of brain, he'd probably be bisexual. Which means Zoro would be the one since Sanji is definitely only interested in ladies and Usopp… No, don't tell me.

Zoro is his first mate, and… first mates are pretty significant.

Thank you for your time.

* * *

**#4Cheesecake**

**Hmm, this seems really interesting :D :D**

**Ace-san, why do you fall asleep while you eat and/or during a conversation? I won't be surprised if Makino-san would reprimanded you for that. :)**

**Also, how do you feel about being paired up with OCs or other characters in this fanfiction website? Do you annoyed? Disturbed? Amused?**

**Thank you, Ace-san! :D**

**And to sammycircle - this is a great idea! XDDD I can't wait for the future posts! Please update soon! I love how you portrayed Ace in this! :D :D**

* * *

I have narcolepsy! It's a disorder which makes you fall asleep at random moments. And during a boring conversation, it's the brilliant excuse.

Don't tell pops I told you that.

Makino knows about my… problem… Sort of. But I can't help it!

Mostly disturbed on the OCs part. Too often am I portrayed as a ladies 'men – I am _not _ a ladies men I'm a freaking pirate commander who wants to sail the sea not flirt with random girls who are usually bartenders and strong as hell. Or weak ones I have to save. I am not a hero, neither am I a knight in shining armour – I'm half-naked for your information.

You should probably tell Sanji, he loves women so much his nosebleeds are terrifying.

First-hand experience.

I've peeked into the M rated section... Wait, don't judge.

Other than that, it's all unreal anyway, just a fantasy of you fangirls huh? I have to deal with it… by not reading out of curiosity…

I am exhausted. This is the end of the monologue for today…

Thank you for your time

_Ace slumped down on the table, snoring._

* * *

**A special thank you to you all for being so responsive! :D This is a super duper long chapter, hope you guys enjoy this! **

**All credits to Oda for creating such an awesome character.**

Tayani Aww you're so funny haha all the questions! I nearly died laughing

RedSnow4 heheh here's your answer;) Ace's fun to write!

lucidum somnia sub sidera THANKYOU! you make me happy ^^

Cheesecake well here's your update~~ phew it took me quite a while to finish!


	3. Q&A 2

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

* * *

**#1Tayani**

***pouting at rejection, but shrugs it off* well, I'll just need to go to your world and become a pirate right? :P Nah, be grateful it's just a creepy fangirl like me, and not Lola...**  
**Ace-san, I wonder... How many Yonkou did you get to know? I mean, I know about Shanks and Pops... How about the Big Mam and Kaidou? And, what do you think about all of them?**  
**Also, you said you're not asexual, but you speak of Hancock (the most beautiful girl in the wold, right?) as if you're not interested one bit.**  
**AND, don't worry, my overreacting brain is working overtime to think up some questions, I wonder what you think of Marco, Jozu, Izou, Thatch and other commanders? Do you like them? Are they annoying?**

**Oh, and extra questions, for Mr. Marco this time: Marco-sama, what do you think of Ace? And what it's feel like to be a phoenix? Do you enjoy flying?**

* * *

Getting the hand of this… somehow. Well, apparently I uploaded (is this how you use this word?) a new Q&A chapter but it does _not _appear. At all. So there's lesser requests now, not that I'm complaining, but it is _fun _to do this… a pirate's life gets boring once in a while.

Well hello there Tayani, nice to see you again. Alright so you're a creepy fangirl…

"_Who's Lola?" _

_Marco flipped through a few books, pondering. "I've searched it up, she's a pirate who asks for marriage proposals from everyone." Ace shivered – creepy enough._

Being a pirate ain't as easy as you think, you'll have to train years and years.

Woah you know a lot! That's funny, I never really gave a damn about the Yonkou, as far as I know Whitebeard would always beat them all, so… Shanks saved Luffy and anyone who's Luffy friend would be in turn mine. Unless they're inanimate objects or sea creatures incapable of human speech… that I would have to consider carefully.

I'm not a fan of candy, Big Mom's obsession over it is a little unhealthy don't you think? Not that we pirates think of such things… She's pretty ruthless if you ask me, but Pops doesn't talk of her much so I'm not one to say. Pirates _are _ruthless, just to note. Most are. Luffy just has a heart of a child I guess, that simple-minded fellow.

Kaidou… never heard much of him. From the look in his eyes he's after Pops head. Of course that wouldn't happen. I'll die first before Pops, my life isn't as important anyways.

Sorry? I've never actually _seen _Hancock, would you mind showing me a picture though? In a way I'm like Luffy, never really cared much about beautiful women, not that I'm oblivious to them. Most beautiful girl in the world? Is there a most beautiful? Or most evil? Am I evil because I'm the son of the devil? Honestly speaking, I have issues dealing with whether my existence, beautiful girls would be the last thing on my mind. I've heard from the others though that she turns all men into stone… Now if we use Luffy as a bait…

It's not a matter of interest, nobody ever captured my interest. Now if you'll excuse me there's a party going on outside…

"_FINISH THIS FIRST!" _

_Holding his ears with his palm, Ace winced at the volume, "Alright, alright."_

They are annoying as hell. All of them, they drive me crazy, but well… I'll still risk my life for them. Just that they take pride in shaking me out from my narcolepsy (which is literally impossible so when I _do _wake up I see myself drenched in icy cold _seawater _mind you it's not so funny when you experience it), or stealing my food (_nobody _steals my food. No one. Luffy had a broken arm once, and he's made of rubber, yes I secretly have haki although I'm not sure what that means), OR drenching me when I'm awake to see if it'll douse out my fire abilities.

I totally appreciate their concern that I might set the whole ship on fire, so perhaps I should try pouring ice water on Marco as well. It's not fair, we're both fire-like and they only try to extinguish _me_.

"_OI IT'S A QUESTION FOR YOU!" _

_Popping his head in, Marco stared at the computer screen, grinning. "About time!"_

Hi, I'm Marco the phoenix if you haven't heard of me you're probably living under a rock, a damn heavily big one. Did you call me Marco-sama, ah you're too nice. Ace's a huge luggage of trouble, I'll tell you that. He's like a reckless idiot who drowns quite often, and he has bad temper management. Seriously. You should try stealing his food, although I don't think it's worth a few fingers.

Being a phoenix is the best. Have you heard of the saying that phoenixes overpower everything? So I'm better than Ace, end of story. Flying to annoy others is fun, especially when they can't reach you. Not that I'm as childish to do such silly things.

* * *

**#2Reila**

***bowing politely* Hello there, Ace-san**  
**Are you a virgin?**  
**Love you! Oh, and thanks for the author!**

* * *

Hello, it's me Ace again. You're polite! Wow this is a short question… but not so simple…

Do I look like a virgin to you?!

"_What the hell? This is personal!"_

"_It's called Ace's Monologue for a reason…" Marco said sympathetically – not really. _

…

…

…

…

Yeah I am. I think. Blame it on Luffy, don't ask me why.

On a side note… Have you seen those fem!Luffy fics? I nearly died… and gone to hell.

Don't worry, I'm still here to answer these… questions…

* * *

**IT DIDN'T APPEAR IN THE ARCHIVE I'M SO SAD NOW :( Hopefully it'll appear this time so I can answer more questions! **


	4. Q&A 3

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

**(please read author's note below! It's important:))**

* * *

**#1Shankie**

**Hello there Ace-san, my name is Noname. Although my cousin calls me a lot of names like 'Ame-chan' and 'Shanky'. Don't blame me if they're weird, I call her a lot of weird names too. If you ask me who taught me manners it would be my scary mother.****I've seen very many fictional stories about you here... mostly disturbing ones... but of course I don't read that. Although there are some fictional stories about you Sabo and Luffy, here's the question...****Do you know that Sabo's alive? :D Apparently, I didn't believe this at first when I saw it too. I thought he had died. However, there's this part when I sneaked in to Dragon's ship and pretended to be a revolutionary. I saw him coming from the show about the Celestial Dragons? Yeah that, holding up little Sabo and got the doctors to patch him up.****That's not where my question ends. Do you know the Oda the magical teller of the future? Try and take a look at his book all about pirates looking for one piece. Mind telling me what you think of Chapter 574? Although I think you might like this book since it's all about Luffy and such.****And by the way, I think Luffy's really cool. :3**

* * *

This is going to be a long day… Well then let's get started!

"_Marcoooo can I eat first?" Ace whined, drooling at the appetizers at the thought of a buffet just a few rooms away. _

"_What do you think?" The door locked with a click._

_His fist burst into flames, while a voice said in a sing-song voice, "The room's sea-stone proof by the way." _

Hi Noname, my you people have funny names, ermm I mean nice names. I'm kind of glad Makino wasn't scary, at least you have manners, it's supposed to be a good way… I thought manners made you weak but well Makino rubbed off on me.

Disturbing ones? Oh man… Don't even try mentioning them. Why do I get the more disturbing ones? How about Luffy?

_Ace fell out of his chair with a loud thud, scrambling up again to read the words on the screen with extra care. He blinked a few times, then knocked the top of the screen repeatedly._

"_Oi oi, if you continue doing that I can't just jump back into the time portal to get you a new one." Holding onto Ace's impending fist, Marco frowned in disapproval._

"_She said… Sabo…" Ace croaked, still unable to take his eyes off the screen. He was now staring at the tattoo etched on his arm, 'ASCE', with the crossed out __S. _

"_ARE YOU TRYING TO KID WITH ME!"_

Hold on a second… Sabo? How do you know Sabo? Well… he has had quite an adventure hasn't he? I guess he's happy… as long as he's happy… I shouldn't dwell too much on this. If you happen to see him again by any chance tell him… tell him your brothers are waiting for you and whatever happens don't he dare die on us again! It's terribly rude!

Oda the magical teller of the future? What is the book called…? This is all very confusing and strange, I feel as if he's predicting my future, or worse writing it. _I _decide my fate, whether it's good or bad because of my heritage _I _would be the one to decide how to live my life, with no regrets and no freaky magical fortune teller will decide that for me. I am _not _going to read that chapter because I'm quite sure it's about my future isn't it? Do I die? Do I live? Does it matter, though?

Even if I _do _die, whether my death comes earlier than I hope I've already long secured a thought that I'm very happy. As long as Luffy's alive, still sailing the world, still giving his catchphrase of becoming Pirate King… It's not fame or fortune I'm looking for. All I wanted was the answer to whether I should be born. Do I deserve to be here…? There is a lot of fanfiction here that deals with "saving Ace" and such, because apparently I died in a _whitebeard war. _The hell? Why would Pops go to war because of me? It's not possible! And it won't happen, I'm not good enough for everyone to risk every one of their damn lives to fight for me, not that I'm allowing that to happen at all – I'd rather die.

Still, if the book is about Luffy, I wouldn't mind reading it. He never actually had the time to tell him about his _great _adventures… more of crazily idiotic I think. But then again, I'm proud of him, my little brother. Let's see… where do I get this book…? Luffy's cool? Are you sure about that… perhaps our definition of 'cool' stem from different places… My crew doesn't enjoy me talking about Luffy 24/7 so here's a chance to let out some steam.

I'm not going to flip to chapter 574. I'll be the one to steer my ship, not Oda, not anyone else, thank you very much.

* * *

**#2Katharonie **

**"Ace! I have a question. How do you think your life would be affected if you ate the unicorn devil fruit? How would you put it in to use? I know you would secretly enjoy it. You would be galloping around the deck of the Moby Dick leaving a trail of rainbow where ever you prance.****No?****I think you would.****Stop lying."**

* * *

Harlo Kath! You don't mind me calling you that, do you?

Unicorn devil fruit? No way, not any chance am I giving up my man pride to become some little white pony with a golden horn _galloping_ around. A trail of rainbow… would send the whole crew to their grave laughing, probably. No offense really! I appreciate that you think being a unicorn is fun and all but… I must conserve my dignity as the 2nd division commander so no thank you, Kathoaronie.

And I'm not lying. You might want to try giving that fruit to Marco though, hiding it in his meal… he'll burst into manly tears after realising he went from phoenix to unicorn, ain't that bad, he's still a magical creature. And he can still fly, so I don't see why he would mind. Instead of leaving burning blue flames, it'd be rainbows, isn't that such a wondrous thought.

_Boxing Ace's head, Marco dusted his hands. "Unicorns huh? Your childhood dream has finally came true!"_

"_LIKE HELL!"_

* * *

**#3ace1queen**

**Hello Ace-san :) I'm ace1queen... uh, it's my username which I named after playing cards ; (Don't be offended/annoyed please) Just call me, um, Queenie?****Anyway, if you don't mind, I would like to ask a few questions :)****Where did you get your orange hat and beaded necklace? They look really awesome :D :D Also, how did you find your 'Mera Mera no Mi?' It must have tasted disgusting...****Anyway, have a nice day :D Here's my token of appreciation - a fan-girl. *shoves a fan-girl into your arms* Actually, that's for Marco - she's obsessed with Marco. Anyway...here's an all-you-can-eat-buffet free ticket as my real token of appreciation XD *pushes you to buffet restaurant* Have fun eating all the food! :D :D****-ace1queen - I mean, Queenie.****P.S. Sorry about that, Marco ;) That fan-girl is totally in love with you :D I just couldn't help but be touched by her most sincere feelings for you.**

**Sammycircle - this is really awesome! I love how you portrayed Ace and Marco - they seem like the real thing! :D I look forward to upcoming chapters! :D**

* * *

Hi Queenie!

"_Hey look, your future queen!" _

_Choking on his saliva, Ace glared daggers at the blonde man beside him. "It's just a name!" _

"_And you're just a single, lonely man…" _

Not offended at all!

The orange hat was a token of appreciation from some citizens from one of the islands when Pops saved them from… something… I can't remember, hey sometimes we do good deeds too! It's pretty awesome right? Who would have the same hat as me ever! Especially with that orange, I don't think it's a trend even in your world, am I right? But I like it… even if a lot of people found it ridiculous-looking, the smileys were added in by me. It kind of reflects me… in a sense. Sad and happy. Conflicted, well yeah I'm one complicated guy – unlike Luffy, all he cares about is his next meal. Wish I had that kind of mindset.

I found the necklace… Actually Luffy found it, got to give that little fella some credit. He wanted to 'decorate' my hat, my refusal didn't bug him one bit. He thought it looked too 'plain', so he found some beads and asked Makino to string them for him (at least he knows there are some things he just can't do), and gave them to me before I left for the sea. It was very cute… I have to admit that alright! Do NOT take it the wrong way, I have a soft spot for my little brother and everyone knows that… it's hard to gain my trust I suppose.

The devil fruit was… as horrible as eating a slug. There you go! My old crew the Spades Pirates found it hanging on the tree. I've heard of devil fruits… never thought they existed though. So I just ate it.

You only live once…That was the day I became fire man.

_Slipping in and out of consciousness, Ace propped himself up on one elbow when a girl flew out of the screen – for real. They crashed into ground, making such a ruckus that Marco unlocked the door to see what was going on with his troublesome crewmate. _

"_Ugh… how… did you… SHE FLEW OUT OF THE SCREEN!" Ace yelled in realisation, pushing the just as shocked, but delighted girl away from him. _

"_MARCO-SAN!" She got up in a flash, throwing herself onto him, causing Ace to erupt into laughter at his friend's plight. _

"_Oh my god, this is real!" The girl squealed, twirling in her fantasy world. Sweat-dropping, Marco looked to Ace for help but he had disappeared, snatching the chance to drop by the buffet table. _

Someone should warn me beforehand when random objects or _humans _fly out of this screen, or I'll lost ten years of life from a mild heart-attack or worse, heart failure. I'm not fragile, it's just not every day that a girl flies out of the computer and attacks people and knows their names, habits and every single detail of their past, rather disturbing don't you think? So please, tell me when you shove a random fangirl, or whatever you call her, into my world. Thank you.

Ah the buffet ticket was a brilliant idea of yours! Much better.

"_Let me!" Marco pushed Ace to the side, typing away on the computer in all seriousness. _

Marco here – I've sent that girl back into your world, please no more horrors, I've had enough of this one trying her best to touch every part of my body, yes do not ask me to go into detail. Although judging by this site, you _would _want me to go into detail. Admit it, perverted fangirls. You call those sincere feelings? It was beyong horrifying, but nevertheless it touches me that so many of you love me. It's hard to be loved being a pirate and all.

* * *

**Hi guys! So much fun writing this, but YES I KNOW I haven't answered all your questions yet! I've decided to answer a max 3 questions for each chapter because **

** I like to go into detail in the answers, I hope you appreciate my efforts to make it as entertaining as possible! Short answers aren't any fun right? :)**

**Updates might become weekly once December ends (sobs) but I'll try to update more this holiday! Thank you for your patience:D**

**Should I start a Luffy's monologue? It's unlike Ace's one, probably less words since Luffy's more straightforward but I think it'd be fun! **

**AND check out Fallen from the Sky, it's a AceXOC fanfic heheh. Come to think of it... how does Ace's laugh sound like? **


	5. Q&A 4

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

**A/N 4 questions **

* * *

**#1** **lucidum somnia sub sidera**

**Hiii, I'm back again to bother you. Please don't mind me****Now, my first question is for Marco-san. Sorry, Ace-san. I'll get to you in a moment :)****Okay... now that Ace-san has firmly denied being homosexual, I'd like to ask Marco-san, just out of curiosity, whether he has seen the numerous 'yaoi' hentai and fanart of him and, scarily enough, Whitebeard-san. /Together/. You know...****Sorry for mentally scarring you, Marco-san. Here's a metaphorical hug from me.****Now, to Ace-san. Are you aware that you die in the Whitebeard war as well as Whitebeard-san himself? Secondly, if you and Marco-san were to fight, who do you think would win, since both of you are fire? No bias, please :)****Forgive me for taking your time! Thank you!****XSomniA**

* * *

There's something I need to know before I start answering – why's that _thing _called a mouse? It looks nothing like a replica of a mouse, mice have eyes and noses and they like cheese and… ah forget it, forgive my rambling. I'm beginning to think Luffy's stupid questions have affected me.

Hello Somnia! Ah Marco… wait a minute…

"_MARCO-SAN~!" _

_Marco mock-puked before taking his place in front of the computer. _

Unlike a certain idiot next to me, I have researched on your… yaoi, hentai, meanings and no, sorry to disappoint hundreds of you I am not homosexual either, which means I like females. And yes, I have seen those fanart although now that you say it… POPS WAS IN THE FANART? With… me…? Please… save me from this drama… if those people even had an ounce of sense in them, I'm sure I do not look like I would… be in… compromising situations… with… Never mind. I accept that hug… at least nobody came out of the screen, since it's metaphorical.

_His eyes were nearly popping out of his head, even Ace didn't laugh so much this time. "What's yaoi?" Ace tried to pronounce the unfamiliar word. _

"_I should save innocent souls like you from the trauma." Rubbing his head, Marco got out of his chair to give Ace back his seat. _

Since Marco wouldn't give me an answer… What is yaoi? Is it homosexuality? Hmm, they said curiosty killed the cat so I think if you did gave me an answer I'll be scarred for life… I've already been scarred too many times mentally and physically, so I don't think this would be a deep one. I hope.

Yes, yes I know why does everyone keep insisting that I would _die_?! Don't you see – I don't really care if I die tomorrow, I'm not looking for immortality by being a pirate, if you keep worrying on whether your future would be good or bad, what's the point of living? If I just live through today… that'll be enough, provided that I get to eat finish the buffet first though. And I want to see the Sabo who is supposedly saved by the revolutionaries, call me easily pleased but you're not the son of the Gol D Roger, I doubt you'd know how it's like to be _me. _Unwanted? If I'm weak I'll be like garbage people don't give a second glance, ya know? Wait, wait, Whitebeard – Pops died? Are you very sure of what you're saying? Why would he die? No no, you must be mistaken, Pops is a living legend, he can't just die. Everyone knows we'll die for Pops.

"_I've read up about that…" Marco said quietly. _

"_About what?"_

"_Pops dies… according to this." He held up a tattered comic book with a bold title "ONE PIECE". _

_Squinting at the words, Ace noticed the author name, 'Oda'._

"_The magical story teller huh?" Taking the book, Ace tore it in half and flung it into the bin. _

_With a steely glint in his eyes, Ace said, "Pops ain't gonna die." Marco made no further comment. _

A fight? Obviously it'd be me, I mean Marco, I mean heck he can heal himself, that's totally against the rules – imagine if someone challenged you to a fight and he can automatically heal all injuries, so not cool at all. A phoenix has its uses after all. But since Pops chose him as the first-division commander, it means he's the strongest. Plus he's second mate, that counts as something. Anyway, I can beat him if he didn't have any of those special healing powers (he's exceedingly lazy), that's why I'm 2nd division commander!

"_Oh yeah? Are you challenging me?" Marco hovered dangerously over Ace, only then noticing the self-proclaimed commander had fallen asleep – again. _

"_Just my luck…"_

* * *

**#2Tough Chick**

**Um...hi? Sorry I'm a bit confused as to how this all works. Oh and here's my question...****Is Thatch there? I'm not sure what time frame you guys are in but if he's there tell him I think he's awesome and people should right more stories about him! Not yaoi though...that frankly scares the crap out of me.****Also a question for marco. Why is your fire blue? Also I think your smexy. /**

* * *

Hello! I'm not quite sure how this works either… I just know that my next meal depends on how well I answer this…

"_She asked about Thatch." Ace prodded the screen, his expression blank._

"_It's your monologue." Marco pointed out. _

He's… not here anymore you know? But if you see him… perhaps he flew into your world while fighting that black beard bastard… please let me know. His family's here waiting for him.

Thatch is amazing really, perhaps more stories would bring him back to life? He's quite good with ladies, a bit of a flirt, but everyone's unique.

We're on the same boat – yaoi freaks me out. Especially yaoi fanart, because that gives me vividly visual nightmares, and I'm not even someone who has nightmares…

Marco here – Well… that's a hard question, it was blue once I ate the fruit. I suppose blue phoenixes are cooler, and blue is kind of a soothing colour, just like how my flames heal my injuries, pretty awesome huh? (Red is too unoriginal) Thank you for the compliment, for once someone thinks I'm physically better than Ace. Thumbs up!

* * *

**#3Cheesecake**

**Thank you so much for answering my question, sammycircle and...Ace, I guess! :D :D :D****Sorry for all the trouble ; But I really love how you portrayed Ace and Marco! Ace's replies are really funny and did you such a good job writing it! XD XD****Thank you so much again! :) *bows***

* * *

Ah a grateful reviewer, you're welcome! I know I'm awesome.

"_With an inflated ego the size of Moby Dick." Marco said dryly._

* * *

**#4MatchboxLuffy**

**spoilers****  
****.****  
****.****  
****Ace ;-; Stop chasing Black beard your die D:****3: I don't want chu to die.****Question for Marco, dose it get annoying seeing everyone on fanfiction call you pineapple head? o-o**

* * *

Harlo! I couldn't find Black Beard, disappointingly. Yet another person has told me my death would come soon, well you really can't expect to live that long being a pirate you know. It's more of 'living each day like it's your last' mentality. Don't worry, Black Beard's was under me, he's not that strong, I'm not some weakling.

But I appreciate your concern!

"_Err Marco… you might like this question!" _

Uh I'm called pineapple head? What a suitable name… NOT. How does this haircut look like a pineapple, it looks nothing like one. This is cut by a very skilled hairstylist on the ship I'm sure he would be quite offended that his masterpiece has been deemed as a fruit-looking cut. Or… He did it on purpose? Excuse me, I'm going to kill someone now.

"_I think it looks pretty similar." Ace held up a pineapple beside Marco's head, furrowing his brows in concentration._

* * *

**There ya go 4 questions today, because some were relatively short:)**

**Super busy now, might not update till christmas eve/christmas! Oh guys remember Ace's birthday is on the 1st January if I'm not mistaken:D Shower him with all your flowers, beer, food, OCs (I'm serious), fangirls to show him your love on that day HAHAH oh dear don't tell Ace about this. It's a secret. **

**arigato to all your wonderful reviews! You guys keep the story going - I mean Ace going ^_^ **

**Note: If you ever want to throw yourself/OCs/random characters through the computer screen, it'd be nice to have a vague description of their personality/looks so I can make it seem more realistic, ah I'm having too much fun putting Ace and Marco through all this nonsense:D **

**Keep the questions coming~ xx**


	6. Q&A 5

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

* * *

**#1Wanted-YamasakiC. **

**Ohayôgozaimasu, Ace-san! You can call me Naomi or Na-chan - as my friends use to call me :) I got some questions for you so here we go:**

**To Ace: How many times did you try to assasinate Oyaji? I mean it must have been over hundreds of times, right?**

**To Ace: How many times did you and Thatch prank Marco? From what I've heard you guys play pranks alot! Is that true?**

**To Marco: I wonder something... How does it feel when you get paired with an OC? And another question, how were you when you were younger? Like Ace age or even younger then that? Where you always so... serious or were you different? If you where, then how?**

* * *

Ohayo Naomi! Nice ta meet you.

Assassinate? Oh those were the times where I was the reckless youth trying to be the top of the food chain of pirates… at that time I wanted to be the Pirate King too… It's funny though looking back at the time where I had no intention of stopping that killing intent of my future father.

"_You're still a reckless youngster." Marco noted casually._

_Ace crossed his arms indignantly, "I'm a man! And you're still an annoying know-it-all." _

Well yeah, it was almost a hundred times. Damn I didn't know my spirit was that good at that point, now I'd probably stop at around fifty, getting old you see… I never succeeded, evidently, every time I tried I get busted through the wall, crashed through a few doors, thrown into the merciless ocean (thankfully they were _kind _enough to save me), beaten senseless, had unfathomable nosebleeds, need I mention that I probably broke my ribs a thousand times… Oyaji is like this master of prediction. That is so unfair, he calls it haki, whatever that is.

Hmm Thatch again… We used to prank him a lot! Because you know, Marco's such a serious smartass we thought it'd be good to loosen him up a bit, or else his blonde would eventually turn white in a few years, or even worse bald. I'm sure even Marco doesn't want to go into Oyaji's state of old age just yet, who knows how old he is (He doesn't want to tell, says we have to figure it out ourselves I mean come on, I suck at math. Can't count the number of times I eat every day), does that mean he's close to Pops' age?

Uh probably not.

I mean you'd think he'll have hair as white as Oyaji's now. I heard Oyaji had blonde hair too in the past, must have been fascinating to see.

There was once we painted one of those seabirds blue and placed it in his room, it squawked like nobody's business, totally a noisy birdbrain but it was worth the look on Marco's face – he has a soft spot for birds ya know, because well technically he's half-bird, I'm sure he inherited some of their instincts. Thatch had this brilliant idea of putting up a stand outside Marco's room 'PHOENIX HEALING POWERS – MARCO', and somehow convinced half of the newbies in the crew that Marco could heal any sicknesss, any injury, oh the most hilarious thing was when one of the men asked Marco if he could cure his love-sickness. Sad thing was Marco knew it was us (I wonder how) and set up a booth 'ACE & THATCH'S LOVE ADVICE', _and _those gullible newbies came to us for advice. On love. Use your brain goodness sake do we look like pansy womanizers?

I miss Thatch…

Switching over to Marco – How does it feel? Weird I guess, since I usually have no clue that she existed (and I have a good memory, mind you) or appeared in my life, I mean the memory should have been quite significant if we had been _lovers_. I don't get it – I know I'm appealing and all but I don't usually fall for girls… … … Some of those girls seem nice though… might consider dating but nah. Doubt it would last, to be realistic.

I think… wow that's a long time ago since I had the taste of childhood. Mine was relatively happy, I grew up in a small village (surprise surprise)… I was quite a serious child. Read books and maps, boring for most people but these intrigued me, going on an adventure you have to prepared. I was probably not like Ace, heard he was quite distant and rude when he was younger, at least someone taught him some basic manners, more of quiet a bit of a thinking-person you know what I mean?

"_It was Makino…" _

"_What?"_

_Twiddling his thumbs, Ace said, a little embarrassed, "She was the one who taught me manners, if you were wondering…" _

"_I should thank her for doing such a great job!" _

"_Oh shut up."_

* * *

**#2MsWildLuck**

**ACE! give me a brofist you are AMAZING!**  
**Can i be your friend though i do wish i can go on one small date with you cause you are so much cooler and stronger than guys from were im from, BUT friends are really amazing so being friends is fine *shakes hands wildly***  
**OH can i have a party with you or an adventure on an island(any is fine)?**  
**Whats it like being a Whitebeard pirate, is it cool? Whats it like being fire?was it strange at first?**  
**To marco: why does your hair look like a pinapple, but your still ok**

* * *

Hello there! Here's a bro-fist a world away, hope you received it by airmail soon enough. THANK YOU finally someone has realised my capabilities.

Marco interruption here – Ace better not delete this. In fact, Ace is an insecure boy who just longs to be accepted, so please shower for love on him. I shall take my leave.

I don't know what the hell Marco was talking about, don't care anyways. Friends? You should know I don't trust people easily… but you seem okay I guess, why not? I heard from your world there aren't really any pirates, that's sad… Thank you for the compliments! Err a date…? You just want to show me off to your friends don't you… depends if there's a all-you-can-eat buffet and you're paying I'm in.

_A hand popped out of the screen enthusiastically, shocking Ace once again out of his wits. _

"_Should I shake it…" He mumbled, taking the hand anyway and shaking it hesitantly. The hand retracted back into the screen, much to his relief._

I love parties! Usually we have parties on the ship, unless the island's ours you see, we're still wanted people, easily misunderstood.

Being in the Whitebeard crew is the _best _thing that ever happened to me in my life. Besides Luffy and Sabo of course. It's cool, if you think about it, nobody ever dares to insult Pops but then there's plenty of threats coming from everywhere, pirates and marines alike. We're all like family, and Whitebeard is the only dad I've got.

Having fire abilities is oddly convenient – and inconvenient. In winter islands, I get a huge advantage, for one thing I don't have to wear layers and layers of uncomfortable itchy clothing (doesn't mean I can go out naked either, not that I want to), but I'm like a in-born heater. However… I tend to burn up things, whether on accident or unconsciously. Since we're always prepared for impromptu battles, I've recently developed a habit of bursting into flames every time I get awaken by loud noises that remind me of battles… only to realise it's Marco's snoring. Damn him.

At first I thought it couldn't be true – made of fire? It's the luckiest thing ever, you know I could have eaten a weird useless fruit for all I know, I'm not that knowledgeable on devil fruits. I could have… well… someone told me about the unicorn fruit. It sends chills up my spine at the thought of eating that and prancing around leaving rainbow trails. No, I should just erase all memory of that.

Mentally erasing right now.

My hair does _not_ look like a pineapple, period. End of story.

* * *

**#3Shankie**

**I know Sabo because I've travelled with Luffy! :D And I'll be sure to tell him when I meet Sabo again. Although Luffy really doesn't know because I always get separated from his crew. Well I like going different ways anyway.****  
****Well, the book's called One Piece. It's Luffy's adventure in finding One Piece. There are hints of you in some part though, but it's mostly Luffy.****  
****And hey, what an unappreciative crew. If you get to talk with Luffy 24/7 with me, I'd be happy. It's always boring here, people do talk to me but they disappear after a few words. And since it's fun hearing Luffy stories, I'm okay with it! But seriously, who can't stop talking about our little brothers? I have a little brother too! His name is David! He's annoying at times and- Oh wait, I have to get to my question.****  
****Do you know about Luffy's 'fangirls'? And YOUR fangirls? I'm not a fangirl, trust me, I only have favorite characters but I'm not a fangirl of them. Well, apparently, Luffy had been receiving marriage proposals, and 'doyouwanttobemyboyfriend' proposals. I do know you get some... How would you react to this? Oh, and Luffy also has a Shichibukai fangirl. The name's Boa Hancock, it's a surprise how she fell in love with Luffy.****  
****Oh, and how would you react to the weird... no, very disturbing photos that your fangirls create. _ They mostly consist of you naked. And some draw gay romance... Or in short yaoi. O_e There are just so many horrible people on Earth.****  
****Don't worry, Oda doesn't really decide your fate, you act on your own will. He just writes about the future, and it always gets right!****  
****What do you think of Luffy-haters by the way? I hate them of course, Luffy's cute and funny, and strong. Just want to know what you want to say to them and stuff. XD Specially since you're Luffy's overpro- I mean, Luffy's brother.**

* * *

Ah I see what they meant about my little brothers' talk… Say hi to David for me! I thought Luffy was the worst thing that happened to me(other than being born as the Roger's son) so as you can see he kept following me _everywhere_ at first, it was very very irritating for someone like me, I didn't like company in the past (that doesn't mean I'm now a social party animal either)… but then he told me he'd rather get hurt than be alone it sort of changed my mindset a little… I'm getting out of point again.

Hmm so you're not part of Luffy's crew? Why not…? I suppose it'd be fun travelling with him, he's full of non-stop fun kind of guy, hyperactive tendencies I'm quite certain it'd be hard to be bored around him, or get any decent rest in between.

Back to your real question, umm no I was not aware that Luffy even had girls _fawning _over him, do you have any idea how wrong that sounds? He's practically a little boy, (sadly both physically and mentally, quite sure his growth spurt would come only ten years later) and that would make those girls pedophiles… ya know? Unless he magically becomes a mature hunk through the time I haven't seen him, then… I'll take back my words. No actually I wouldn't, might have died from the scare at that point. Hmm well that's good, it's not healthy to fangirl over pirates, trust me.

I am aware I have a fanbase… yes I'm not as oblivious to everything as Marco thinks I am because I spend more hours than an average human sleeping. Woah slow down miss, Luffy gets marriage proposals? MARRIAGE PROPOSALS? THAT'S… that's practically illegal, as his older brother I have to scan over all of them, not that I think Luffy would even bother accepting them…

What charm does Luffy have that can attract a Shichibukai I honestly don't know (maybe he's innocent, pure-hearted all that stuff). Girls like guys who are… not perverted let's say, not thinking of boobs all the time. It's testosterone, I would like to think Luffy lacks normal male hormones, not that he's a female, but his hormones are working in a way that makes him interested in food in a way… a male would be attracted to a female's flashing. Yes, that sums it up.

Me. Naked. Haven't looked it up but… thanks for the warning in advance, I'll take care of where to look next time.

"_Seems like girls want more than just you without a shirt." Marco stroked his chin thoughtfully. _

_With an nonchalant glance at him, Ace countered. "Seems like girls like the thought of you and Pops getting married." That shut him up, though not for long…_

"_How about doing fan service?"_

"_Like…?" _

"_Wearing your birthday suit." _

Just to point out though, if he writes my future and always gets it right… doesn't that mean he decided my fate… never mind I've decided to not associate with the strange happenings in your world.

Luffy has haters? That's a sin, oh come on, you can't even try to hate that guy, I'm easy to hate because I'm temperamental and I don't have that high levels of sympathy to strangers but Luffy just automatically helps people. Who the hell just gives free charity to people they've just met? Luffy, obviously. There's a reason why Luffy is almost impossible to hate, yes you can be annoyed by his incredible nonsensical nonsense that he spouts at weirdest moments, yet once you see the person he rally is… hate is a strong word… He's a pirate but I highly doubt it's even legit to call him, just because he flies a jolly roger doesn't make him a stereotypical pirate. He just wants the freedom of the seas, I don't get why doesn't just become a sailor (he'll tell me one of his dumb ideals that being a pirate is a thousand times cooler…).Firstly, he doesn't kill anyone, ever. _I _had killing intents (even though I failed for Pops' assassination), that guy doesn't even kill his enemies. He only fights people who hurts his nakama, through any lengths (I've heard about the Enies Lobby incident – very impressive, and very stupid). Who wouldn't want to be Luffy's friend? Ah I'm staring to go on and on about Luffy again, sorry.

I am _not _an overprotective brother; I know what you wanted to say.

* * *

**#4Alyssa **

**Before I get to the question part thingy let me say that this is a great idea! I love it a interesting and entertaining.(I'm very sorry if this is too long)**

**Um. . .hello Ace-sama,Marco-sama my name is Alyssa, but I go by Al or Aly.*is that normal enough for you ace?*apply a little bit of sarcasm)**  
**I have a question (or so) for each of you. If you would please be as kind as to answer them, I would really appriciate it. *small smile* Thank you very much.**  
**Ok so I guess I'll ask you first Ace since this is your question thing: What would you do if you ever encountered a pyrokenitic person? As in they can control w/their mind your fire. How would you even feel about that? Because of your narcoleptic episodes have you ever missed something REALLY important? If so would you mind telling us?**

**Ok, Marco- would you call him in here for me Ace? I swear no fagirls will come out of the screen. Alright so your tears don't heal people do they? I'm sure you've heard that stuff about a phenox(I spelled that wrong didn't I?) tears and all. Also can you heal other people or is that just yourself? Oh and what's your type? Since Ace has been kind enough to tell us and apparently you two aren't-and will never- be 'together', please tell all of the curious fangirls.**  
**That is all. So I would like to thank you for reading/answering this and of corse your time, Al.**

* * *

Don't worry, I've had longer ones… as you can see…

Hello Aly - very normal and very easy to remember, thank you for your unintended sarcasm (I hope).

I've looked up on what pyrokinesis is – it sounds interesting, but wouldn't that make me pyrokenitic as well, since I _do _control fire with my mind, although I suspect I can't make fires that aren't produced by me disappear. To give an explanation, I can create, control and transform into fire at will, is there were this… pyrokenitic person who could control my fire, that would be bad. Very bad. Still, my fighting skills are at a high point that would allow me to bash him up before he did anything funny with that ability of his, without the use of my mera mera no mi.

Missed something really important eh… I try not to fall asleep at the most dire moments… let's see, I fell asleep through halfway of Luffy's birthday song, thank goodness Luffy didn't notice – he thought I was eating the cake in excitement. Another time some marines started firing at our ship and I was supposed to keep watch… at least it only took Pops one earthquake to wash them away. Still, I don't look forward to another episode of Oyaji's fist contacting with my jaw, I knew he was holding back but I couldn't talk for a few weeks. A _few weeks_. I'll never face that humiliation again.

I don't mind if you send people flying at Marco, just as long it's not me, it's perfectly alright.

Hello Alyssa this is Marco. My tears? Healing powers? Where did you get that idea from? (A/N HARRY POTTER YOU BAKA), it's phoenix by the way, that's okay plenty people spell it wrong, including someone who thinks his intelligence is above average (Ace.).

My type… That's probably be a girl with an open mind (you have to have an open mind to like a pirate in the first place), sensible, relatively smart, it's a bonus if she's pretty I guess.

I don't believe Ace has told you _all _about his ideal type, once I looked into his diary, I know what a shock Ace actually writes, he had an entire list and…

"_Let's look at this together, shall we?" Ace dangled a bound black book with a note attached 'Private Property of Marco's'. _

"_Blackmailer." Marco scowled, but he couldn't do anything about it._

_"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Whitebeard hollered from his room, unable to stand the crashes of his two commanders that were disturbing his nap._

* * *

#5lucidum somnia sub sidera

(I'll skip to this part cos I PMed you the rest of my answer:))

**I don't believe Ace-san has a distinct laugh like Luffy does, or maybe I just haven't been paying much attention. All of my attention has been spent on the Kidd Pirates, sigh. Research is quite tiring.**

**Anyway, that's it for now; no questions from my side, currently. I wouldn't want to swarm you :3 Somnia out. Give Marco a kiss from me. On the cheek though, I think the poor man is a bit too nervous to actually welcome a girl's physical contact now (*smirk*).**

**XSomniA**

* * *

Luffy has this ridiculous laugh that goes shishishi, maybe Garp had a habit of making that sound when he goes to the toilet with Luffy... awkward...

_"SAM!" A small head poked out from the window, her expression bleary from lack of sleep. _

_"What?" _

_"Go kiss Marco." _

_Glancing at him warily as though he were out of his mind, Sam shook her head._

_"She asked you to kiss him, it's not my problem." _

_"But I'm a man!" _

_"Even better- the yaoi fangirls would totally love it." She vanished as quickly as she appeared, leaving Ace dumbfounded._

_Just in time, Marco stepped into the room with a mug of beer. _

_"Umm Marco I have a favour to ask of you..."_

_Raising an eyebrow, the blonde man, knowing it was Ace - it can't be anything good. _

* * *

**Oh my gawd... 3000 words... almost 4000! So here's 5 questions because I have time and I feel hardworking today. Do any of you mind magically bringing Thatch back again? It might fun to see him here... (I'm still waiting for Luffy to get his damn computer from Franky to start his monologue) **

**And yes, I have self-inserted myself there, don't worry I'm just a side character over there to make sure Ace answers your questions properly. :) **

**To Sanzopriestess (since I can't PM you) : Yes I had lots of fun! It's becoming a hobby now~ That's a good idea - I'll take note of that, that means I'll have to create a few OCs to ask those questions...if Ace's computer were to break down... ah those plot bunnies keep popping out of nowhere! **

**All in all, THANK YOU! Ace is finally getting to like you kind people. xx **

**Ace: I didn't say anything! **

**Me: YOU SHOULD BE IN THE STORY, NOT THE AUTHOR'S NOTE YOU IDIOT.**

**Ace: Oh sorry... *disappears* **

**I swear, I'm having too much fun with this. Ho hum, take this as an early Christmas gift to all you awesome people!**

**Tayani / RedSnow4 / lucidum somnia sub sidera / Cheesecake / Reila / Shankie / Katharonie / ace1queen / Tough chick / MatchboxLuffy / Wanted-YamasakiC. / MsWildLuck / Sanzopriestess / Alyssa (guest) / Chocolatluver4ever / Anjelle / Portgas D. Paula / XxSaorixX**


	7. Q&A 6

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

**A/N: THERE YA GO the answer for those who reviewed chapter 5! **

* * *

**#1****lucidum somnia sub sidera**

**Oh, forgive me, I was being inconsiderate when I asked about Whitebeard-san. I'll try not to ask these kinds of questions anymore. To answer Ace-san's question, a 'mouse' is a part of the computer. It's the thing you move when you want the cursor to move, or when you want to click on something in simpler terms. I'm sorry, I really can't describe it simply...****Now, if you're really that curious about yaoi, I'll try to be as lenient as possible. I don't think Ace-san would appreciate being scarred mentally for life... Well... yaoi is the term used by rabid fangirls for boy-love/homosexuality. AceLu, ZoLu, Marco x Ace, and Marco x Whitebeard are all examples of yaoi. Simply put, searching it up will make your eyes bleed. (I quite like your eyes and being the de-facto cause for their disability would weigh quite heavily on me.)****I'm sorry if I'm swarming you with words; it's a very unwelcome habit of mine. (*sigh*) Would you be so kind as to answer my questions this time around as well?****These questions go for both of you:****  
****If an attractive girl used Nami's infamous Happiness Punch on you, or in other words, flashed you, what would you do? And if you had to choose between partying and sleeping, intentionally in Ace-san's case, which would you choose?**

* * *

Hello again, and yes I forgive you, it's Christmas after all.

Oh I see, thank you for going through the trouble to explain it to me, even though I still don't get why it's called a 'mouse'.

Marco told me how to use 'Google' (sounds like goggles, and not to mention I hate swimming, not that I can obviously). It's a site to help you search things… like useful information. Sadly, I've been tempted to search what in the world is yaoi, and I had a horrible headache after that session. I couldn't eat lunch – and that's saying something. Thank you for being concerned over my eyes, yes they're important or else I can't be a pirate anymore… that would be quite disastrous…

"_I think I need surgery for my eyes too." Marco stated, having been dragged along on Ace's search on what's yaoi, seeing the most explicit of the explicit part of that meaning. _

Very well, I'll come to your question now.

Happiness Punch? How does that even make you happy I would like to know… but then again half of a male's mind consists of sex. I'm not kidding, I've done some research. Not that I only do research on _those _things…

I would be quite calm but disturbed, I think, I don't _like _people (men or women) flashing at me for no particular reason, it's shameless and I've told I have an unusual lack of interest in love matters – not that I have time at the moment.

Partying. Sleeping comes automatically anyway, so you can't blame me if I fell asleep – it's like a reflex action when I get drunk or get a narcoleptic attack.

* * *

**#2****MatchboxLuffy**

**Ace, what do you think about those Fan Fictions that have AcexLuffy yaoi?****Also those Fem!Ace ones.****I'ma be honst. I love them 0.0**

* * *

I think I have stated this somewhere before – I nearly died and gone to hell while reading a paragraph of AceLu.

Female Ace? So now I'm a transgender? What in the world is wrong with your world… You can't just be like "oh I want them to be in a non-gay relationship so I shall change one of their genders!".

Oh wait… you can.

"_Why do they like to change my gender?" Ace regarded Marco helplessly._

"_Because yaoi is too mainstream for some."_

* * *

**#3****Katharonie**

**"Hmmm... Well since you so nicely declined the Unicorn fruit how about the sloth fruit?****I mean what could be better than that!? It gives you a reason to not do anything and it would suit your narcoleptic habit well.****I suppose the down side would be be slow in fighting but you could just sit on them and squish them I guess.****No?****I suppose it would give you a reason as to claw Marco-san. Your claws would need regular maintenance after all."**

* * *

Sorry to disappoint you… but I'll stick to being a fire man. If you eat more than one devil fruit, you'll die.

Do you have _any _idea how uncool a sloth fruit sounds? Squish them huh… What do you think I'll look like, an elephant?

Clawing seems fun though, although the sad thing is if Marco turns back into a phoenix he'll burn my claws. Must have been painful to experience that. The crew might even take me as an emergency food supply or make me live in a tree… the humiliation… (I doubt they'll take me seriously anymore)

Thank you for your suggestion but as for now unless you have anything cooler than fire (pun intended), I'll decline both your sloth and rainbow fruits. If you don't mind however, slipping it into the dining hall as desert…

* * *

**#5Tough chick**

**Thank you for answering my question last time. :)****  
****Oh and marco I wouldn't worry to much about your hair...I honestly couldn't imagine you without it. /****  
****I actually have a question for Vista! If you and Mihawk had a one on one fight (which you will but didn't finish...) Who would REALLY win?**

* * *

You're most welcomed!

I told him his hair looks more like mango than a pineapple. He was really pleased.

Marco here – No I beat the crap out of him, for your information. Oh well, everyone's born this way, can't change the way my hair looks.

"_Oh yes you can, with a bit of gel it can look like a banana!" Ace said in glee, a bottle of gel in hand._

"_Do you wish for an early death?"_

Vista – Mihawk? You mean the 'word's greatest swordsman'? My, even battling him would be quite an honour, I've always been interested to know the outcome of my training and abilities. We may be on par, but I believe I'll not beat him. But IF I do… I'll make sure everyone would shut up about the moustache joke once and for all.

* * *

**#5** **Anjelle**

**This is an awesome idea! :D Had a lot of fun reading, espesially after finishing /that/ arc. Poor Ace...****Question for Ace: Do you think Luffy will manage to become the Pirate King despite being as...slow...as he is?****Question for Marco: How do you and the rest of the crew put up with Ace's narcolepsy? :P Doesn't it get annoying for him to just suddenly fall asleep without warning?**

* * *

Hi there! Whether it's Luffy or me being Pirate King (with his luck, he might have a decent chance), I think Luffy has a higher chance than me. He spends his whole life dreaming on becoming pirate king, with that big of an ambition is impressive. Slow? More of easily distracted, I guess he likes to take his time on mad adventures, I don't blame him, adventures are pretty interesting compared to treasures… And besides, Pops is the closest to becoming Pirate King I doubt he'll let someone unworthy take the throne.

Marco – We don't. We tried curing him with all types of methods such as electric shocks, water buckets, alarm clocks but it doesn't seem to affect him… Instead he conveniently burns everything in sight in his shocked state, wish he'd learn to control his temper.

Yes, it gets annoying, but hey we'll just steal his food as punishment. An eye for an eye.

* * *

**Anyways, for those who reviewed chapter 6 I'm SO SORRY I'm currently working on 3 stories at once so I'll have to split the workload!**

**Love love love you guys and an early happy new year! Hopefully 2013 would be good~ xx **


	8. Q&A 7

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

* * *

**#1 ace1queen**

**Thank you for answering my questions sammycircle and Ace! :D****I have no regrets for pushing the fangirl into Marco's arms. Queenie is just a name derived from my username which completely have no connections to my real name****But sorry about that..."shock" that I gave you, Ace from pushing that fangirl into your arms. But I do hope that the buffet ticket and Marco's reactions (to the fangirl) make up for it :) And yes, Marco, I call those sincere feelings - that poor girl spent 5 years of her life 'obsessing' over you. Please accept this pineapple as an apology token.****Here's another buffet ticket, Ace.****Thank you so much once again! :D I hope you will have an enjoyable Christmas and a happy new year! :D :D**

* * *

Hello again! And you're welcomed.

Well, I wouldn't call it _just _a shock, it was more of a traumatic experience but of course Marco's reaction was certainly good enough.

Marco – FIVE years? Should I call the police to deal with this? Oh bad joke – I'd probably be the one arrested first.

_A gigantic pineapple was thrown out of the screen, hitting Marco's previously nicely-styled hairdo. _

"_Oh look, your twin." Ace grinned cheekily, only to feel the impact of the spiky pineapple hit his face._

Happy new year to you too!

* * *

**#2 Portgas D. Paula**

**Hi! My name is Paulina, but you can just call me Phoenix, everybody does (don't ask me why).****There's something that's been bothering me lately... All I want to know is what your take on having friends is. Like, are they good to have, or not. And why.I'm sorry for dumping it onto you, but I don't really have anyone else to turn to...****To the author: I think this is really great!**

* * *

Hello Phoenix!

Having friends? I suppose… it's a nice feeling. To be loved, I mean. To know that there are people who want you to continue living in this world, feeling wanted, you know that good feeling bubbling inside you? Gah, it's hard to explain. For example, Luffy is my brother _and _my best friend, because he doesn't care whether I'm the son of the devil, or whether I'm hated by the world, all he cares is that he wants to be my friend. Isn't that rare? But I don't trust people easily – there are only that many good people to meet if you're a pirate.

It's alright, I tried my best to answer this…

"_You're babbling about Luffy again." Smirking, Marco never failed to wonder what made Ace's little brother so special, he must be quite a charmer to be able to get Ace to talk about him at every opportunity with that smile of his._

* * *

**#3 Wolfgirljess**

**dear Marco-San,****  
****Do you think ace is cute? Not like romance cute, but little brother cute. Becuse I mean the ace fangirls love ace cuteness. He probaliy was acting real cute at some !**

* * *

Marco – No. When he was around 18, perhaps he was rather boyishly 'cute'.

"_You don't think I'm cute?" Ace gave a lopsided smile, munching on some cookies. _

"_I'm sure that's the least of your worries."_

Of course Ace would have fangirls. Naturally, I do think of him as a little brother in some ways, because he's stupid and reckless and obviously needs supervision (and unfortunately I somehow get dragged into being a babysitter). The only time he looks relatively _normal _is when he's sleeping. And then there are his freckles, they make him look somewhat more childish.

_Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, Ace asked, "Eh you watch me while I'm sleeping?"_

"_I think you've forgotten about your let's-suddenly-fall-asleep-without-warning problem." Marco pointed out._

* * *

**#4 Shankie**

**Ace-san. I'd like to make something clear before I respond again. I'm from your era. You see, I found out this portal and started going through it, and before I knew it, I was buying stuff from that world! So I brought a laptop! It's a portable computer! Just search it in the internet or something. However, being associated with the other's world for too long introduced me to the things that happen in the future. Don't ask me how weird this is.****I'm still part of Luffy's crew. I'm their Informant/Information Broker. Luffy liked the things I told him so he told me to join his crew. I did join, but I go away from the ship from time to time to gather more information. Oh by the way, I found Blackbeard. Just saying. And no, I haven't found One Piece.****I just want to say being born as Roger's son is not a bad thing. There are just some bastards who don't know the thrill of being a pirate. I'd be happy to exchange places with you Ace-san. But, you should treasure being Roger's son. Because of that, you were able to meet Luffy. And you're not different from everyone. Okay, I think I'm not one to say because I do curse my middle name. It's from a person whom I wish I wasn't related to. I really wish I was related to Roger now.****I did have a little research sometime ago at the fangirls in the other world, and practically they draw images of Luffy looking really manly and stuff. (Oh! I forgot to tell you! I went back to Luffy's ship a couple of days ago. I'm celebrating Christmas here in Luffy's ship. However, I've been hiding this Laptop from him. He might destroy it.) But he did grow up to be quite muscular. But he's still skinny. So, I guess that does make them pedophiles.****Boa Hancock is weird. That's the answer. I met her a few times and whenever me and Luffy would share information about you, she would glare at me and look at me with a face that completely says 'Stay-away-from-Luffy-you-bitch'****Oh and please do tell Marco-san, there are also pictures of him naked. Together with you Ace, and I won't directly tell you what I just meant.****About Oda? He's from the future. So basically, he just knows what happened in the past. I guess? Wait, I'm going to look up information about him when New Year and Christmas is over. They're my favorite holidays and there's no way I'm going to miss them.****Ah! Ace-san! It's almost your birthday isn't it? I just heard Luffy shouting about it somewhere out there in the ship. I might be able to send you some gifts from Luffy since I'm pretty much near you. What would you like for your birthday? It would be nice to give gifts to the person who took care of Captain-san.****Actually it's fine by me if you talk about Luffy all the time. I usually talk about David non-stop. He's just so cute! And his stupidity is something you'll actually grow to love... although I did get annoyed at some point... And I'm envious of Luffy too. He has such a nice big brother doesn't he? My older brother isn't really someone who cares... I do have other two brothers but they're both dead. I wish I had an older brother like you Ace-san.****I've seen a lot of fanfiction lately about the three of you. I mean, you, Sabo-san, and Luff. There's no Yaoi or anything, but a nice fluffy story about your brotherhood. Do you find these fictional stories offending? Hope not. Oh wait. I forgot. Ever since I met Luffy-san I've been making fanfiction about him too. Does that make me a fan? I think it's just fiction.****By the way Ace-san, have a Merry Christmas! Please tell that to the rest of your crew.****Wow, what a looong response.****This question was asked by Sabo-san. "Why don't you have a girlfriend yet? I thought people at the age of 20 would have one already." I'm doing it for him since he doesn't feel like creating a fanfiction account.****i j;a jgACK! Stop it LF Luffy! Wads her.e****Now where was I? Right, another question. Ace-san, your brother told me you had narcolepsy. Is it true that you had a narcoleptic fit while approaching the toilet bowl and fell asleep with your head in the bowl? Luffy told me that happened.**

* * *

Hello! Informant broker? Why does Luffy need an informant broker… As far as I know he likes the mystery of adventure… guess he finally decided to have some sense of mind.

"_Era? Are we that old…?" The freckled man twitched._

_Clicking through a few webpages, Marco looked back at Ace. "Apparently." _

…Before Roger's son isn't a bad thing? I guess we can't choose our relations.

Manly. Luffy and Manly do not match, don't you agree? I'd say I'm manly.

"_I absolutely disagree." Marco said solemnly_

_Scowling, Ace glowered at him. "I didn't ask for your opinion!"_

Fangirls have the strangest and most perverted mindsets I've ever seen and that's saying something, many pirates are lewd to a certain extent. But there are people attracted to Luffy's… umm… personality but about his whole skinny body structure they wanted to change it up a bit…? Evidently, ideal man are those with muscles and abs.

Hey then ain't I an ideal man? Not that I care, as a fact.

Some women are jealousy driven… Boa Hancock is from the Amazon Lily am I correct? She must have a man deprivation… or so I've heard once an empress from that island falls in love they fall very hard… it is a strange world we live in.

Marco- Please so no more naked, disturbing, graphic imagery.

Ah my birthday just passed not too long ago. We had a party! (even though we have one every other day) and I got a fireproof shirt… a brilliant idea of Marco's. He thought it'd be nice to put floral patterns on the sleeves too.

"_You loved it didn't you?"_

"_I prefer being shirtless, thank you for your concern." Ace said sarcastically, knocking down Marco's chair in the process. _

I'd rather go in my birthday suit. (pun intended)

Wait. I take that back.

If you really insist… I'd like a pet dragon. Who do you think would win, the dragon or the phoenix?

Oh I see… you only had brothers before? I've never had sisters… they seem like a handful although I wouldn't say Luffy was the most obedient sibling. (Hint: Big crybaby) Ah, I'm sorry about your older brothers…

I do like those 'brotherhood' stories, it's like reading your own bibliography. As long as it doesn't contain any yaoi, I'd probably be okay with it. Fanfiction of Luffy? For some reason he has the most stories… That idiot of my brother I mean.

Sabo! What the heck are you even saying? Do _you _have a girlfriend then, Sabo? No, I do not have a girlfriend, and no I'm not forever alone and NO I'M NOT GAY, there you go. Please tell me that you were kidding…

Luffy did NOT just tell you that!

…Yes. It's true.

Thank goodness the person before flushed the toilet beforehand. Luffy's just lucky that I don't know his location now to box his head off.

* * *

**#5 Guest**

**Yo, Tyler here. I just got one quick question for you and Marco. What kind of music do you guys like?**

* * *

We like party music. And music that contains electric guitars, pianos and drums. I'd want to learn the guitar but I keep burning the strings…

"_A shame, really." Marco strummed a broken guitar with one string, letting out a screechy 'twang'._

* * *

**#6 Guest**

**This question is open to whoever the heck wants to answer. What is it about adventure that all of you boys are enamored with? I don't want to hear the freedom crap either.**

* * *

Freedom isn't crap. It's the reason why we became pirates, what more than to travel the unlimited sea?

Depends on the type of adventure you're referring to. It's just exciting to travel and see new things, fight new monsters… I suppose you get my drift?

* * *

**#7 Guest**

**This is so fun to read, how could younot have fun writing it? It's especially fun when you laugh out loud and theres people around. . .**

**So I was wonderin' how you feel about people pairing you with people like Vivi and Nami. Or mary sue oc's how do you feel about those creatures?**

* * *

I tend not to think about who I get paired up with. My editor, Sam, seems to have an interest in pairing me up with an OC. (I finally know what that means – other character).

Mary Sue? I looked it up… Seems like it means an exaggerated or 'self-inserted' character with overwhelming good qualities enough to blind you to insanity. Hmm. They sound… very creepy…

"_Well, since you don't match that well with Vivi or Nami…" Sam made a note in her book._

_Staring incredulously at her, Ace snatched the book and skimmed through a few pages._

"_Who is Sky? Why is this titled 'Fallen from the Sky'?"_

_Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Sam replied, "An OC."_

"_And…?"_

"_It's a AceXOC fic." Taking back the book, Sam gave a little wave before disappearing out of the door, leaving a dumbfounded Ace in the dust._

* * *

**#8 Guest**

**So say you guys had time to pick up an instrument- they're very time consuming to learn and with the marines after you and your adventures I'm sure you don't have the time, or interest- but lest say you did, what would you choose to learn to play? What if you guys formed a band, what would you consider naming it?****Have a good day and keep up the awesome blog thingy, Max**

* * *

I'll name is Spade Band.

"_That's lame." Marco remarked._

"_No I think it's cool." Ace shook his head stubbornly in one of his rarer childish fits. _

"_It's l-a-m-e. At least Phoenix sounds better." _

_Ace stuffed his fingers into his ears._

As I've mentioned above, I'd like to play the guitar but if I don't control my – uh more emotional moments I usually break the strings… too often… and when you're in the middle of the sea supply of guitar strings don't come by every once in a while…

Marco – I would be the singer or drummer. I actually like singing, and I don't sound like a drunkard cat when I'm singing, unlike _someone_.

_Vista sang a few notes before being knocked out by a sleepy Ace._

Have a good day too.

* * *

**#9 MatchboxLuffy**

**Ace, you ever had a crush on a girl? *cough* MAKINO! *cough-cough*****  
****Also what's your favorite food .**

* * *

I can see there are many people very interested in my (lack of) love life. Crush? Makino? MAKINO? No no no no… she's just a nice girl who gave me clothes… and I didn't even blush in front of her Luffy and Sabo were making it all up those idiots.

"_Liar." Marco watched the determined expression on Ace's face with a small smile. _

I like… Meat. Who doesn't like meat anyway? Oh and ramen is just the best thing ever, too bad they don't sell it much everywhere…

* * *

**A/N In advance, Ace thanks you for all the birthday wishes! School just started for me, it's been CRAZY so I'll only update this every week (hopefully!)**

**For Ace's birthday I also wrote a one shot called Visiting Ace. :D It's about some characters visiting his grave (it breaks my heart to accept reality)**

**Anyways, this is for all the reviews for chapter 6! Love you all and thank you so much xx hope you all have a great 2013~**


	9. Q&A 8

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

**Disclaimer: sammycircle does not own anything here, One Piece belongs to the great Oda**

* * *

**#1 MsWildLuck**

**I'm back! You are still awesome ace!****  
****Question if you had a choice would you eat the dragon devil fruit or just the one you have now?****  
****What ever is your answer I like it****  
****How would you feel if you got under the mistletoe with Marco or Luffy( I'm not really a fan of yoai though), just wandering because all the yoai questions and stuff?****  
****What do you think of all the gender bending characters?**

* * *

Thank you!

To be honest… I don't enjoy thinking of 'what might have happened' because I see no point in looking back and regretting what I've done, in which I don't. But let's just say I would still have eaten the Mera Mera no mi fruit, but if I were a dragon I'd have eaten Marco.

"_You wouldn't dare." Marco warned._

"_Who knows?"_

Mistletoe? Umm. If worst comes to the worst, I think it'll just be best I beat them unconscious. Or pray that my narcolepsy attack comes at that moment (or just pretend it _did _come at that moment).

I'd be feeling extremely awkward. Although Luffy would probably do something stupid like tell everyone he was under the mistletoe and get everyone's attention… _That _would be awkward. But hey it's just a kiss… right? On the cheek. Don't get any sick ideas you perverts.

_Ace heard a faint rustling above his head as he snapped up. Above him, clearly, was mistletoe that was evidently not present just a few minutes ago._

"_Whoops." Vista scurried away, as Ace realised who had been pushed next to him._

"_Oh look, mistletoe." Marco pointed out dryly._

* * *

**#2 Tough chick**

**Hello again...I'm sorry but i don't understand. What's this moustache joke Vista was talking about? I'VE never heard of it! Who'd joke about that anyway...some people just look good with moustaches. Like zeff, vista, and whitebeard.**

* * *

Vista here – Ah of course I look good, thank you! Finally someone who compliments a good moustache!

"_Did you know Vista puts an unbelievable amount of gel just to keep his moustache in shape? The gel's so hard it's rock solid." Ace whispered to a random crew member._

"_Really? I want to try touching it!"_

_Another curious crew member piped up, "Me too!"_

_Soon enough, a swarm of interested men crowded around Vista, wanting to get a touch of the rumoured 'rock-solid gelled moustache'._

* * *

**#3 wanicrocodile**

**Yo Ace! The name's Wani and no I am not related to that ex-Shichibukai, Sir Crocodile. Anyway... How're ya? How's Marco too? Would you mind telling Mr Phoenix that I'm probably his type, hehe. I just wanna say that I've always wanted to go out adventuring and being a pirate sounds really fun! D'you think I can perhaps join the Whitebeard Pirates? I originally wanted to join Luffy's crew cause I love them but being a Whitebeard pirate means I get to hang out with you and Marco! And the others but mostly you and Marco! Did that sound creepy to you? Sorry Ace-san! I baked you a three-layered cake, if that's ok with you. :3**

* * *

Yo! Okay… if you say so…

His _type_? You mean, for a date? Oh perfect, let's set the both of you up!

"_Ace…" Marco growled, putting on his no-nonsense face._

"_Or you'll be forever alone." Ace grinned devilishly. As far as Marco knew, the flame boy was far from anything romantic – must have knocked his head somewhere._

Being a pirate is kind of fun! But it's dangerous… like to put it simply everyone wants your head, well in a literal sense. That means you spend your whole life wanted and it's not all adventuring and treasure, that's the good part but you'll probably have to face the bad parts. Which is, hunted by Marines, escaping from sudden weather changes… I look like I'm discouraging you, aren't I?

…A little creepy. But nonetheless you seem… nice… Anyhow, you can't just _join _a crew! Although I don't think Luffy has any sort of criteria for a crew member… as long as he thinks you're suitable, trust me I've seen his crew it's totally random and varied.

_The cake landed neatly on Ace's lap, as he looked over the three-layered, chocolate, vanilla and strawberry respectively._

"_That looks nice." Marco (who apparently appeared out of nowhere) interjected._

_Ace stared at him in all seriousness. "You're eating none of it."_

* * *

**#4 iluvonepieceyaoi**

**i like this idea its fun to read my name is lily and im a very big fan of you and marco-sama anyway to me questions ace if luffy did join the whiteberad crew what do you think you life world be like and the next question is for marco-sama why did you put your whitebeard tattoo on you chest and who did it for you my last question is kind for whitebeard i would like to know what you think of shanks and if you that tall when you were younger oh and ace could you give marco this for me *gives you a fan letter* hehehe bye bye**

* * *

Hello Lily!

"_Why is her name iluveonepieceyaoi?" Marco said warily._

If Luffy joined Oyaji's crew… I guess to be honest, it really wouldn't happen because we've argued in the past who would be captain and I don't think he'd refuse any position lesser than captain (which means he'll immediately reject the offer). I'll have to look after that idiot even more if he joined.

"_Aww but still love him." Marco teased, catching Ace's faint smile from his childhood memories._

"_SHUT UP." _

Marco – There's not much of a reason for that… I guess because my shirt's always open? Some girl tattoo artist affiliated with Pops… she was pretty…

"_Someone's got a crush." Ace snickered._

_The blonde glared daggers at him. "I WILL burn you to crisp."_

"_That would be rather ironic."_

Still Marco here… Umm, Shanks is… a drunkard. Party animal, but strong as hell. He's not someone to mess with, but I don't hate him. Unless he gives me a reason to.

Younger meaning… ten years ago? I was always born tall.

_Ace threw a crushed paper ball at Marco's direction. "Show off." _

_As the letter landed on Marco's hand, he tore it open, reading through the contents. _

_Dear Marco,_

_I LOVE YOU! Please consider me as your potential girlfriend. Xoxo_

_Love,_

_Lily_

"_Well… at least she didn't ask for marriage." His fire friend patted him on the back brightly._

* * *

**#5 Arrancar13**

**Hello I am Arrancar13, well my user name but you can call me JLynn. This is very interesting to hear what you guys have to say to the crazy fans out here. I do have questions for some of the crew. Starting with Ace. If you could change one thing about yourself(not your parents or how you were raised) what would it be? For Marco how long have you been with the Whitebeard Pirates and the First division commander? Also Marco if you had to choose between spending a week vacation on an island away from the pranks of Ace and Thatch or having Ace a Thatch as your personal servants for a week which would you choose? For Izo Are you a geisha? I mean no offense I do love your style of cloths and weapons. For Vista who do you spar with and how do you think you would hold up in a fight with Thatch? For Haruta are you a boy or a girl? No offense but I have trouble telling. For Namur What kind of fishman are you and are you friends with Jimbei? For Jozu has anyone tried to steal the diamonds that you create when you use your powers? For Whitebeard this isn't really a question but I do love how much of a father figure you are to your crew and how you will do anything to protect your sons and daughters. Your are a great man and I am glad to have learned about you. If you guys can answer these questions I would be very happy *smiles and bows* Also if you want look up a story called 100 days of Ace being a Buttwipe. It is a fanfic about you guys that is not a couple yaoi blah blah blah thing. It's actually interesting to read and really funny.**

* * *

A/N: THATCH LIVES!

Hi there!

If I could change myself… I guess I'd be less temperamental all the time and not lose my temper… not that I could change that anyway.

"_Yeah, imagine a peaceful Ace," mocked Marco, causing Ace to slap him._

Marco – does this mean I have to reveal my age? Uh, around ten plus years… At first when I joined there weren't any 'division commanders' because the crew wasn't that large yet, I suppose you could say I was his first mate. Of course I would choose having those two pranksters be my personal servants. Imagine the torture they could go through, such as I could tell Ace to not burst into flames when he's angry or he won't get lunch. Ah, the life I'll have…

And as for Thatch, I could get him to make me my personal meals… and to stop using the knives he uses to kill fish to cut my meat as well. The joy I would have…

"_Oh man…" Thatch and Ace groaned inwardly, seeing Marco mention all the pranks they played on the serious commander. _

"_Let's hope he doesn't get any more ideas…" Ace muttered, before a smiling Marco turned towards the pair._

"_I already made a list."_

Izo – Yes. Geisha and PROUD.

Vista – Usually, I spar with Thatch or Haruta. I _always _win.

"_Say that one more time you'll get no dinner." Thatch flipped a few kitchen knives._

_Vista gaped at him. _

Haruta – Very well… I'm a girl. Maybe I should just grow out my hair…

"_Here." Ace thrust a blonde wig into Haruta's hands._

_As the only female commander stared at him blankly, Ace explained, "Then you'll look like Marco's sister."_

Namur – Not sure… And yes I know Jimbei. Every fishman knows him! Especially when he's friends with Oyaji.

Jozu – Ace tried to burn my diamonds to see whether they were resistant to fire that idiotic kid, I punched him and gave him a few missing teeth. Thatch tried practising his skills by 'cutting' my diamond – obviously to no effect. If they had _attempted _to steal my diamonds… actually that's no possible. Ace tried during his first few days in the crew, that kid has a liking for shining things…

Whitebeard – How in the world do you use this? You brats spend your time on this machines instead of enjoying life in the sea?!

"_Oyaji… you have to answer your question." Marco said firmly._

My dream was always to have a family! If you have no family to protect, your life has no love!

_All his sons and daughters looked at Whitebeard with admiration._

"_100 days of Ace being a butt wipe?" Thatch covered his mouth to keep himself from guffawing._

"_Sounds pretty good." Marco remarked._

_Sam was pretty pleased, for she had read the story before. "It's a great story! Was Ace like that during the first few days he joined?"_

_Everyone stared at Ace, who averted everyone's eyes._

"_Uh…"_

Sam – I do kind of like the idea of Ace being a butt wipe. It helps to change his overconfident 'know-it-all' attitude.

"_SAM!" Ace complained, throwing a slab of meat towards her._

* * *

**#6 Shankie**

**Happy Birthday Aaaace! Actually it's not yet really your birthday and stuff like that. It's still 11:11. This is from Luffy, he said he wanted to be the first one to greet you. I wonder if he really was?****Man, everyone was drunk on the ship except for Luffy, Usopp, me, Nami, and Robin. I didn't know Reindeers could get drunk o.O****So knowing you're a party animal, I'm going to give you some stuff. *gives Ace three boxes of sake, three boxes of meat, confetti(?)* I don't really know what you like since you haven't told me yet so, blaah.****Oh by the way, I promised Luffy to give you this. *gives Ace a letter from Luffy* He wrote it just for you! Brotherhood is so good!...****And I didn't receive any gifts or anything from any of my brothers... TT_TT Sucks to be the giver... although I really loved it when David liked my gift! It was as if there were butterflies in my stomach!****Happy Birthday and a Happy New Year Ace-san!**

* * *

Ah the letter… I see he's been improving his less-than-readable handwriting. The first people to wish me were Marco (shocking, I know) and the rest of my family.

"_Let's see the letter.." Sam snatched the letter in Ace's hands in a flash, reading it aloud much to Marco's amusement._

"_Hi Ace…" Marco restrained Ace so that Sam could continue reading._

"_Happy Birthday! I've been to many places and there's like a SKY ISLAND and lots and lots of cool monsters and I have a cyborg for a nakama and he built me a computer like yours but I don't get what you're saying why are there so many words in your monologue?"_

_Sam took in a deep breath, wondering why there weren't any punctuation marks in the letter. Well, it WAS Luffy after all._

"_Anyway when I become PIRATE KING, you'll have to say I'm the best okay? I'm not a cry baby anymore and I can beat you next time I see you!" Ace stopped struggling and had this knowing look on his face, a hint of a grin on his lips._

"_Signed, Monkey D. Luffy." Sam finished, handing the letter back to Ace._

Hmm Luffy didn't get drunk? Now _that's _a surprise. They were partying again? Reindeer? Oh that cute little fella I saw in Alabasta huh… his take on alcohol can't be that high…

Thank you for the gifts! I should have a storage for all the food stuff you guys keep giving me… could last a deserted man for months…

You seem like a really good sibling! It does suck to have oblivious siblings huh… but we still love them. (I did not just say that)

Thank you! Happy 2013!

* * *

**#7 ace1queen**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACE! :D :D :D*****hands you over gift* That consists of many kinds of food, just saying XDD****Have a happy new year, and enjoy your birthday! :D :D****-Queenie**

* * *

THANK YOU! Why does everyone give me food… I'm not a glutton you know…

"_You are." Everyone who heard Marco's comment nodded in agreement._

* * *

**YAY 7 QUESTIONS! *cheers* for chapter 7! I realised I like writing this fics, it's kinda like a hobby... weird... So I went to start another Fic called Vacation with Luffy which is basically Ace getting dragged into going on a one-month vacation with the straw hats and Whitebeard agrees (this is after the war where it is assumed in my universe that Ace and Whitebeard SURVIVES and Thatch is ALIVE) and woohoo starts the crazy vacation you name it.**

**A little crazy in this world is a good thing... right?**

**Yeah I know I'm rambling again. Thanks for the love guys it keeps me writing xx**


	10. Q&A 9

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue**

_**Ace: Hello dear readers, the number of questions I respond to vary on the question length, so please bear with me**_

_**Marco: As polite as always, enjoy.**_

* * *

**#1 Wolfgirljess**

**thanks for answering my question! Ace, have you ever woke up in a strange situation? I can only imagine your Narcolepsy(falling asleep at random) would make sure of that.**

* * *

Strange situation huh… Let me see… I've woken up in the women's quarters before, must be that hell of a joker (Thatch) obviously. I had to face their wrath when they saw me, oh man don't remind me.

_"I didn't do anything." Thatch pouted, pulling his innocent act. _

* * *

**#2 Roro**

**This is a very good idea! ;D****  
****I'm a french fan. I don't speak very good english.****  
****I very like Ace! )**

* * *

Thank you! French eh?

"_Do you even know French?"_

"_Bonjour…" Ace paused, giving a triumphant grin._

_Marco nodded expectantly. "Terribly limited vocabulary."_

* * *

**#3 TheStupidRaven**

**My names Shay :-) alright lets see...I'll try to ask areally fun question for you..hmm****Whats you favorite animal Ace? (lame question)****Ace, Marco, did you guys know that they make One Piece Candy? I have this candy cane thats in the shape of your body Ace (Creepy question)****What do you think of Red-haired Shanks, Ace?****Who do you think is more likely to become king of the pirates, Pops or Luffy?****Did you know what Luffy has an Fan Fic too?**

* * *

Hi Shay!

I like… dogs. I know Luffy likes those weird and strange creatures that roam all around the Grand Line but for me… I prefer _normal _animals. Dogs are cute.

"_Ah Ace's a softie for puppies…" Thatch waved a dog plushie in his face. _

"_Oh that's cute- I mean, really nice, it has nice fur and all," Ace coughed, rather embarrassed. _

Candy? Of me? I should feel honoured right now but somehow it gives me the chills that it is the shape of… my body… and you ate it…

"_I want to order one too!"_

"_Me too me too!" For some reason half the crew had wanted candy cut-outs of themselves._

"_Creeps." Ace muttered. As for this, Marco had to agree. _

Shanks saved Luffy's life, so I guess I would be eternally indebted to him. He's a joker really, never seems to take anything seriously, reminds me of Luffy. I think one Luffy is enough though…

I would say Pops right now, but Pops _doesn't _want to be Pirate King. He just wanted a family, you see (I know, weird, to find a family you become a pirate… the logic in that….) but Luffy's ambition IS to become king. I believe someday… Luffy might succeed.

"_That's if he smartens up a little." Ace added to himself, much to Marco's scepticism._

"_He doesn't seem exceedingly bright." The blonde said._

_Scratching his head, Ace looked on with a thoughtful expression, "The dumbest survive the longest."_

"_And you're leaving proof." Marco casually said, inching his way out of the door to avoid a fire blast that had yet to come. _

Of course I knew Luffy has a fan-fic. His writing is terrible, I must send him a letter to teach him some basics, although I've heard his navigator is helping him on that, thank goodness.

"_If Luffy sees this, he's gonna be sa-d." Thatch sang._

"_Crybaby." Ace said under his breath, but the whole crew knew Ace would never make his little brother cry – not anymore._

* * *

**#4 iSevenSins**

**Yo ace!****  
****Where did you find your devil fruit and why did you eat it?****  
****And how did you feel when you saw that your name was tattoed wrong?****  
****Didn't the others had a laugh at it?****  
*****Creeps up to ace, licks finger and pokes him, trying to see if he makes a sissling sound. *****AND WHERE DID YOU GET THAT COOL HAT D: *steals it and runs away with it***

* * *

Hello there! I think I've actually answered this before – my devil fruit came from a tree, in which I thought it was a fruit and ate it. Simple.

I was hungry, alright?

It had a meaning to that 'wrongly tattooed' name, I chose it to be tattooed that way. Sure, loads of them laughed but the next day their faces were quite battered.

"_I didn't laugh." Marco stated truthfully._

_Ace shrugged, hiding his smile. "I know." _

"_NEITHER DID I!" Thatch cheekily annoyed the living daylights of Ace, leaving Marco to violently separate the both of them with much calmness._

_Someone flew out of the screen, grabbed Ace's finger and licked it._

"_Ah another one… YEAARGHHHHHH!" He yelled, going into a defensive stance. _

_The person poked him with uncontained curiosity, and was deeply disappointed that it made no 'sissling sound', and ran away with the orange hat always atop of Ace's head._

"_GIVE ME BACK MY HAT!" _

Well… why did you have to lick me?

* * *

**#5 Ellerocks92**

**I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure exactly how to do this, so forgive me if I do this wrong. But do you truely believe that you don't deserve to exist? I had a few girls tell me that in school and i have been bullied because i was different, but to question your existence? yeah did that before, i've been told (and I'm sure you have as well,) that this world (both of ours, i guess) has people who are needed and peole who aren't. I guess you believe that too, don't you? That we're not needed, we're one the people that doesn't need to exist.****But after long insomina sleepless nights, i realized that was a lie, that there's nobody needed in this world, nobody. Not single person. Teachers, great men and women, ... kids or adults. Me. Or you. The world doesn't need ... any of us. The world doesn't care who lives and who dies. It still keeps bringng the days and nights, and time. I'm sure the world doesn't need anyone.****What a miserable fate. It's so lonely and despressing. I'm sure that's why people search for one another. They need that. I found friends and my family try to help me but we're not a touchy-touchy family and i'm not close to my mom or sister, though I'm trying to be and we're getting there. Even so, I found my person in friends, who are yours?****I'm sorry if this is depressing to read and I'm not looking for pity or anything, and you don't have to agree with my opinion but there it is. So what do you and Marco think? Does it sound about right? Sorry, that this is so long, but don't get despressed or too worked up about your existence, because it's not worth it. I seen and heard stories about teens who killed themselves because people pushed them to the edge and these thoughts, i'm guessing, pushed them over the edge.****Yeah, so i'm just curious on what you think about my opinion on this? And yeah, hope you don't hate me about speaking my opinion on this.****See ya, sorry if this was a waste of your and Marco's time.**

* * *

Hello there. I'm sorry it took me this long to get to you…

Do I truly believe in my right to exist? Often enough, no. But right now, Luffy (and others) have taught me that whether you have the right to exist, whether every single particle of your body is obliged to walk on Mother Earth, is actually where you _believe _you have the right. It took me a long time… much too long… perhaps… to realise that you had to be the one to _prove _your existence. We are born naturally, human, but whether you want your footsteps to enflame, or simply walk across sandy beaches where the seas wash away your print, is your choice.

My friend, it is indeed not as depressing as what you've said. (and I'm actually quite a depressing person, really) Does it matter whether the world needs us? It is whether we _prove _to them that we are needed, it is _time _that brings day and night, not the world. The world can be deceiving, it can cruel, it can throw you off course, but when you see happy people, seriously, it gives a whole new light. When I saw Luffy, I wasn't looking at the world I had always thought of. The people who thought that my existence was a failure in itself, but Luffy had taught me, Pops had taught me that it _doesn't matter _what the world thinks. Nobody lives to please, no?

I've never had family… not true family anyway. Treasure yours, even though I hate mine to the very core, Luffy and Sabo were family enough for me.

To be totally honest, killing myself had never been an option. I might have gone to the depths of the world, seeking for solace by myself but suicide is a weakness. And I've told myself I'll never resort to such weakness and you _are _right, it is not worth it. I've hated myself for a large period of my life, simply because people felt it was right.

Now, I quote myself "I don't give a shit." Because I'll live and leave without regrets.

* * *

**A/N GOOD GAWD how long has it been since I've updated? Sorry guys, I really wanted to your questions were reallyyyyyyyyyy long (not that I minded though but you'll have to be patient)**

**SO as Ace has said, if your questions are long I'll answer less of them in each chapter, so the number of questions answered varies. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING THIS FIC! Love you all xx**


	11. Q&A 10

**Welcome to Ace's Monologue **

* * *

**#1** **Itchyfeet91**

**Hello there, I'm Lyra! It's really nice to have this opportunity to communicate with you. First of all, I'm a huge fan of all of you, the Whitebeard pirates are indeed the mightiest & strongest pirates of your world. Secondly, Mr. Ace, I know this topic is a bit touchy but I just want to say that: I don't really know much about how you really feel, however I do know that feeling of uselessness, of questioning if your existence is worth it. I feel it too often times. But I always remember this quote: "The 2 most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why" & feel enlightened. I think everyone was certainly born with a purpose in this world & everyone should just try to live on, keep their heads up & have the courage to flip their middle fingers to those who says they can't. Family & friends also play a great deal in our lives, and I'm glad you found yours Mr. Ace. I hope you find out your purpose soon and I wish you happiness, peace & contentment as well. You deserve it. Everyone does. :)**

* * *

Anyway, onto lighter issues, here's the Questions. Are the nurses on the moby dick attractive & beautiful? Err... & how do you men handle the urges & stuff with all those pretty ladies on deck?

And Mr. Marco, you're one heck of a cool dude. Why don't you like revealing your age? Unless you're older than Whitebeard-san and your phoenix powers helps you rejuvenate & maintain your good looks. Let me guess your age, tell me if I'm close enough. ...55?

So that's it for now! Thanks for sticking through the end & not falling asleep. Here's your reward! *throws a modern day playboy magazine*

Thank you! Of course Whitebeard is the best!

To be honest, I still have not much of a clue as to why I was born. Yes, I was born through the mutual love-making of my… of Roger and my mother but that is to say I do not know much as to how to argue that my existence is important. However, your optimism is quite amazing, in the more intellectual-Luffy way. I mean that as a compliment. I do hope you're right… that I deserve happiness… You deserve it as well.

The nurses? Hmm, I guess they _are _attractive to a certain extent. Some men are just that desperate. I'm more dignified, at least I think I am. Throwing yourself on ladies is quite common among pirates though, but Oyaji prevents this because we're all family – he protects the girls from potential idiots. I'm more interested in fights, food and sleeping, if I say the least.

_"He's asexual." A crew member whispered to Marco, who raised an eyebrow. _

_"He doesn't even LOOK at ladies – beautiful or not." _

_"That's because he spends most of his time sleeping." Another argued, flipping through an album of beautiful women that could compete with Sanji's album. _

_"Ace, let's discuss about your love – I mean lack of love life." Marco sat across him adorned with a serious expression. _

_"Oh shut up."_

Marco – I am 25. End of question. No, I suppose I'm just that youthful-looking, and Oyaji is definitely older – he has white hair.

_"At least forty…" Ace observed, rubbing his chin. _

_The next moment there was a gigantic hole on the wall where Ace was leaning against. _

_"MARCO. ACE. STOP MAKING ME REPAIR THE WALLS AND FURNITURE!" Their shipwright growled, chasing after them with a giant hammer. _

_"What is this magazine?" With the caption, 'TOP 10 HOT BACHELORS TO DROOL OVER', Marco surveyed it with somewhat between doubtfulness and amusement. _

_"Their abs aren't even that well defined." Ace stole the magazine from him, pouring over it._

_"Talk about cocky."_

* * *

**#2 InaudibleScream**

**Hii, my name's Marina, which basically means from the sea. People also call me the marine, like my parents and my sister, I used to find it funny but now I realize I don't want to be compared to marines, pirates are cooler. Most people say my name is pretty but it just makes me imagine some sea creature like figure coming out of the sea. Wait, does that mean I'm devil fruit users' biggest fear? Ahah, would've been cool. ;P I'm surely yours anyway. Why should you be afraid of me? Lemons. Does that ring a bell? I'm sure you've seen and even read some fanfiction of you indulging in M rated activities. Oh, and AceLu, don't say it's unoriginal and creepy, Ace don't be such a tsundere, admit things to yourself. I really do enjoy those fanfictions and fanart. Especially the fanart. Your naked body is nice by the way.**

* * *

So can your spit turn to fire? and your mouth? like drooling flames? or can you breathe fire like a dragon? How many degrees is your body anyway? can you adjust it as you like? And have you accidentally burned someone before? Or something? And have you ever worried about having sex and then burning them? Do you spew fire when you're drunk?

Freaked out yet?

And ah tell Marco for me his hair and eyes both freak me out and make me laugh to tears. His voice is squeaky too. Judging by how he tops in a relationship with you, I'd think he'd atleast sound manlier than you.

But don't you agree, Ace? That his hair resembles a pineapple? I had a nightmare once where a couple suddenly got Marco's hair, and then I turned around only to see my friends having it too, but also his pedo looking eyes, and when I turned back everyone was staring at me with it! And so I woke up... I'm sure I died at that moment.

By the way, how was your birthday?! Did people yell "Happy birthday" to you as it turned midnight or did people just celebrate the new years? also how was christmas? Did a mistletoe creep up to you once or twice with a certain people?

Something less crazy and perverted... Have you seen fanarts of people drawing you as a girl? You should look it up! You'll find her by searching "Portgas D. Anne" or "Ann", the name that your mother wanted to call you were you to be born a girl. What do you think of your female counterpart?

Oh, and I just want to add how hot but also how cute you are!

Did that make you blush? Ahaha.

From a crazy Ace fangirl I regret nothing.

Hello there. After reading this, should I feel petrified or disturbed I'm not quite sure. I guess we all can't help with what we were named – I mean Ace isn't particularly original but I like it.

I haven't read any M rated fanfiction! Except for the occasional excerpts that Marco stuffs in my face just to torture my eyes. What is a tsundere?

_"It's supposedly cute for a guy to be hostile and cold towards everyone, but softens up gradually, usually because he meets the girl he likes." Marco defined. "But for your case, it's Luffy so all this while you've been giving the wrong impression that you like Luffy in that way."_

_Ace buried his face in his hands. "Give me a break…"_

I see my naked body whenever I shower, thank you very much. And I'm not giving you anymore ideas on where to draw my, umm, body.

And seriously, I'm not a fire-breathing dragon. I don't, quote "spew" fire, and I've probably burnt everyone on the ship at least once.

_"51.5 degrees celcius." Marco thanked the nurse, who held the thermometer stuffed into Ace's mouth. _

Sorry, not gonna disclose my sexual encounters.

_"It's not like you have any." Marco smirked, avoiding a broken chair thrown at him. _

What do you mean by 'top' in a relationship and I'm definitely a thousand times for manly than him. Who the hell can look manly in a pineapple haircut?

_"Watch it, fire boy. She means that when they imagine us sexually, I'm the dominant one and –"_

_Ace raised his hands in defeat. "Do me a favour Marco. Spare me the details."_

You have rather interesting dreams…

On the day of my birthday Oyaji got drunk and thought it was Christmas so… everyone got presents… Which was good because it is better than thinking it was his own birthday. Trust me, it'd happened before. Marco dosed water on me at 12 midnight because I fell asleep and they set my bed on fire. Brilliant bunch of bastards, all of them.

I know what you're thinking – mistletoe situations with… Marco… or someone… No every time I saw one I burnt it – Vista was wondering where they all went because he was attempting to woo all the nurses.

_"SO it was you!" Vista said in a rage, because he couldn't get any opportunities under the mistletoe that night. Ace shrugged._

_"I did the ladies a big favour, you know?" _

I've had enough of gender-changing fanfictions and fanart, thank you very much.

I'm sexy and I know it. No.

I didn't know I had crazy fan girls.

_"I find it hard to believe as well." Marco commented honestly._

* * *

**#3 nameless**

**Ok. I have three question. One for you one, for Mr pineapple head and one for the old man . First ace. What was your old crew like ? I've heard they were very loyal. Mr pineapple what's you opinion of the other yonko, especially shanks. And last why do they call you whitebeard old man? You don't have a beard but a smiley shaped mustache, wouldn't whitestache be a more appropriate name for you? Sorry if the last question is annoying and noisy but I had to know. Respect for the whitebeard pirates.**

**PS: I hope Mr pineapple enjoys the basket of pineapples I'm sending him this moment.**

* * *

My old crew?

They're actually still in the crew, just that I'm not the top captain anymore. Oyaji asked them to join after I, well kinda tried killing him fifty over times... just to convince me... They were, and still are my nakama, that's all I'm going to say.

_"Aww Ace has a soft side." Marco chuckled, as Ace hushed him out of embarrassment._

_"WE LOVE YOU CAPTAIN!" His old crew members somehow gathered within minutes to shout through his window._

_"Why aren't you calling me Oyaji?" Whitebeard asked, mistook their shouts to be directed towards him._

_"WE LOVE YOU OYAJI!"_

Marco - I don't have much of an opinion, to be honest. Most of them are ruthless, not that I'm saying we're soft-hearted fluffy pirates, but they're not a family. If you're not family, you don't care about each other as much. Shanks is another species on the other hand, I can see he does treasure his nakama. Though his partying tenancies are worse than Ace's and that's saying something...

_"LET'S PARTY!" _

_"Bunch of idiots..." Marco muttered, as the rest of them never quite understood why he didn't party as much as them. _

_"Oh stop being an old man." Thatch stuck out his tongue, earning a steely glare from his blonde friend, followed by a 'I'M NOT OLD' response. _

Whitebeard's old. So he's old man.

Whitebeard - How the hell do you use this thing? It's a BEARD! A BEARD! END OF QUESTION.

_"Hooray. Pineapples." Marco tossed them towards Thatch, who rolled over in laughter._

_"I'm going to name him Marco!" Ace grabbed one of the pineapples from the basket, patting it happily. _

* * *

**#4 Shankie**

**I don't feel like logging in anymore... Luffy's been trying to steal my laptop for several days that right now, I'm at the hold. It sucks.**

Luffy invited me to his crew because I gave him an interesting information about... *cough*whales*cough*salty*cough*seawater*

Screw that!

For some reason, my instincts are telling me that you're talking about you being old? Don't worry, 'era' isn't a term being used for distinction of ages. It's just what I call periods. Like... I became a pirate after Gol D. Roger brought the awesome pirate era! He's so freakin' awesome.

It's not easy to become blood related to someone huge, I'll agree to that. ._. I'm the granddaughter of a previous presi- king? leader? ... I'll go with president- Who became corrupted because of his wife. Too bad, he was such a nice, kind, and very smart man.

Atleast Roger's better. 3

Wahahahaha! What you say is true Ace! I mean... Ace-san. A man with abs and muscles is definitely the ideal one! And Luffy has muscles and abs. Believe me or not. His neck has gotten thicker too! Not too thick at least.

I could tell you prefer being shirtless, don't you Ace-san? Is your hat fireproof by the way?

I heard Sabo had a girlfriend already. He's practically assuming you're really gay. Specially when he realized that Luffy's special to you.

Luffy told me lots of things about you too. Like when you tripped on a stone and landed on tiger... crap.

Oh... and Luffy wants to finally talk to you. He caught me, and there's a sword by my neck so I can't do anything.

Hey! Ace! I miss you! Do you know who my new crewmate is!? Her name is Shanky! Just like Shanks! Actually I just called her that, but who cares. Hey Ace! Can we meet? Can we meet?

Times up for him. Oh hey! Whether you don't believe me or not, Makino has a kid, and I don't know whose but I'm assuming it's my pal's, Shanks! XD

Does your laptop contain food pictures? Because you know… Luffy might have mistaken it as food and stole it… as far as I know Luffy would only steal food…

Interesting… whales…

Please don't talk about Roger… Of course there's no particular reason besides bestowing upon me his name. Whitebeard's my only father.

It is not easy, but at least you're a president's daughter. I'm the son of a _pirate _king, how good can that be anyway?

Luffy with muscle and abs? Hah, that guy still can't beat me in arm wrestling I bet. That scrawny brat.

Well I burn my clothes. I have to keep pants on because well YOU know why… and my hat IS fireproof, or it'd have burnt to crisp now.

I don't give a damn if Sabo has a girlfriend! I'M. NOT. GAY. Will you all please stop pestering me with the gay question… because it's called affection… for Luffy… Oh come on, Sabo must have been drunk.

Luffy's lying. I don't get into embarrassing situations like him because I'm the cool older brother.

_"Brotherly complex." Marco said off-handedly. _

_"Don't be an extra!" _

My gawd Luffy your new crew member… why did you recruit her again? Ah, who cares. And no, we can't meet unless you tell me your _location_. I suppose the World Government hates you too now, you've always been the cause of all trouble (I wonder whether that's a good thing).

Shanks? Makino?! They have a WHAT?! Isn't Shanks like at the New World what is happening did he kidnap Makino that idiot…

_"Is she your old crush?" Marco smiled mysteriously._

_"No!" _

_"I sense a love triangle…"_

_"I'LL BURN YOU!"_

* * *

**I'M BACK! After a month long or so of not posting anything I've finally overcame my mini writer's block (plus I had school stuff going on... which took up way too much time...) AND updated! So yay! 4 questions:D**

**Love you all and thank you for reviewing ~.~ I am eternally grateful. You have no idea how much I laugh at your reviews, you guys are so fun^^**


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